Table in Transition: From Online Journal to Abbey Mailbox

Been contemplating maybe not having internet at home...which would cut down posting considerably, since i dont go out in public much becuase of the chemical sensitivity. Really, it looks like this blog may simply become a combination of the archives (better organized eventually) and just perodlic additions, more like an occasional "letter in the mail". Have been inspired too by Leslie of Small Meadow Press' idea of the mailbox in the hedge (see here, here).... "a blog can be a sort of post-office-in-the-hedge....like me leaving something for you to find if you pass by and lift the lid...and sometimes you leaving something for me to find. Really lovely!". The mailbox image has drawn before....and it draws even stronger now.

As someone whose "'re-energizing" comes from turning to the world of ideas, blogging has been very sweet. And yet maybe its almost too sweet in its way....and i've gotten in the habit of overindulging. Its funny, in real life here, ever since the new year, ive eaten very little refined sugar, finally admitting how much my body has been rejecting it all these years. Maybe its time to apply that to the inner life now. More and more, am just realizing i need things very simple and definitely not overstimulating. Been looking at my outer life that way for awhile now, but the inner life has stayed as bombarded as ever. Think its come to the point where that simply has to change.

Been remembering too something some missionaries shared awhile back. They had spent time in the Third World and were surprised that their bodies rebelled the most not when they went over there and had to live so simply, but rather when they came back and were surrounded again by so many ads and choices and "new needs", and so much stimulation and noise and speed. It really surprised them, the impact of materialism, that their very bodies rebelled. But i think it makes perfect sense. And i think it applies not just to our body and the material world but also to our spirit and the world of ideas.

I remember last summer too, when having more abundance of money for a short bit led to suddenly feeling obligated and burdened to get more things (believing i "needed" to try a bunch of supplements now, and get techno doo dads and the like) rather than living more simply as i actually needed to be doing deep down. Well, been realizing that may be what is happening now with my online time and the world of expression and ideas as well. I get so inspired there but also burdened there, feeling obligated to "sort through it all"...and feeling so far from simplicty. With material things, seems the solution isnt to go just cold turkey without money becuase in my secular station in life some money is sure needed, thats just the reality. The solution seems to be, to simply become content with living with very little of it as thats what i have, of becoming more content with less. So... have been thinking of applying that same principle to being online as well.

So as of now, at least at this point, i think this blog will stop being a journal. It will be more like the occasional letter...and there will be a little mailbox on the front page to go to them. As for content, it will probably be on what seems to be the focus right now: simple living. There may be some nutsy boltsy type stuff (off grid exploring, getting away from products, ideas for cooking etc), and/or the more spiritual side. Especially regarding the home as cloister. Each day that goes by i'm just more drawn to that concept. This little trailer, i truly do see it as a little "abbey" as many of you know. A more cloistered life is a natural extension, for many reasons long building. And cloisters were originally created so that folks could come together to protect one another's peace and solitude. I just love that idea...supporting each other in living a deeply quiet prayerful peaceful life. It can be done. Truly, in this case it has to be done somehow. And i have to admit some real excitement there.... wondering how that will unfold, praying. And some of this "adventure in Providence" will likely be shared here....as the Spirit moves, as they say.

Well dear ones, prayers would be cherished for sure. And you definitely have mine as well. I so much apreciate the wonderful souls who visit here... may you be deeply blessed!

Peaceful wishes.....till the next letter in the mailbox : ) Wendy

(Image adapted from here)

A Shabbas Table: "The Floating Monastory"

(Top image is of St Catherine holding the Church-as-a-ship, next one of the Church-ship as a healing light/lamp...which will make more sense later)

A couple posts ago, shared a qoute about trusting God "even for the weather". And also how it was the gift of rain that helped calm something when was at a stress highpoint this week. Well, the stress is still going on honestly...between all these doctors visits, and being dizzy all the time and barely able to swallow, and not being able to rest or feel "at home" becuase of all the noise here (at night too), not to mention the chemical sensitivity going through the roof more and more from all the fumes, and the exhausting dance of having to open and close the windows all day long...well i've been seriously about to lose it. But the experience Wednesday with the rain has really stayed with me as a comfort, a rope to hold in a sense. Keep remembering how something about the rain "softened the edges" of things somehow. And how i'd heared so strongly "notice this" (notice how the rain had made such a difference). It had made me think then of the "not a desert but an ocean" image that keeps coming up a lot. And i've found myself going back to it again and again through the stress of late, something keeps beckoning.

One image thats really stood out lately is what is called the "floating monastory". This is an ancient Celtic custom that i'd recently read about when was exploring St Brenden before. To set the scene before going into it, in the early days of Christianity there was a growing tradition of the "desert" monastics... which began in the Middle East and made its way over into Europe. Its what has still influenced monastic life greatly today. But it was not the only path there, i am just more and more convinced of that. I look back to Biblical times and see plently of desert images... Christ in the Desert, God in the Burning Bush, Elijah in his desert cave. But there are also plently of very deep water images. Baptism itself, Christ calming the waters, Noah's ark, Jonah and the whale, Rebekka at the well, and so many more i'm sure. More and more i am convinced that the desert is not the only path/image for living a life more "set apart" life....there is also the ocean.

The thing is, the desert is a traditional place for soldier training and the early desert monastics saw their going apart as a sort of spiritual warfare. Warfare and battling is really bound in with the archetype of the desert it seems...the desert even battles with our own bodies, making us become more rigorous just to survive in it. Such perfect training for a soldier or a hero really, for toughening up for battle (physically or spiritually). And it sure was fitting for our most ultimate Hero (Hero to say the least), Our Lord, who frequently went to the desert of fast and pray. But.... what about Mary? She too had a sacred role to play and the desert was not her training ground for it.

And so ....what about her daughters? Men and women are not just "the same" after all, a woman is not typically designed to be hero or soldier but rather a nurturer and "keeper". And so while the desert is the perfect place for preparing the courage and rigor and toughening up one needs as a soldier... i feel it makes less sense for helping create the softness and openess and such needed so badly for a nurturer. What feels to provide that more strongly isnt the desert but the ocean as the image. Well, this has been explored a bit before...

But this new image that came acrosss recently was this Celtic idea of the "floating monastory". While those in the Middle East tended to off into the desert when there was the need for a spiritual pilgrimage or an especially prayerful and set apart life, those in the Celtic world tended towards the sea (such as St Brendon's sea voyage, of course, but also many others). The boat then became the monastery, the ocean in the place of the desert. And i dont know too much about these "floating monasteries" yet (couldnt find much) but the image itself really feels to really hold something. Becuase the Church herself has been traditionally seen as a ship....and a ship needs the ocean, not the desert. So this feels to be a very powerful image.

About the Church as ship, from here:

As those outside of Noah's Ark were destroyed, the ship became a perfect early symbol of the Church. In the same vein, the main part of a church's interior, the place where the people worship, is called a "nave," from the Latin "navis" -- ship.

and here:

The image of the Church as a boat in which the faithful find refuge from the sea of the world is extremely commonplace in medieval iconography. The architecture of the church building itself is meant to recall an image of a boat; the "nave" (from the Latin "navis" meaning "ship") is often constructed so that the roof resembles an upside-down ship's keel.

And there were some further thoughts in this vein back here.

Anyway, ive just been very drawn to this image of the floating monastery lately. The ship rather than the traditional "cell". Perhaps becuase my life seems to reflect the former more it seems, so far anyaway, so maybe i should just accept it. My little ship here (this little vintage trailer) will be moving yet again now. I knew when i moved here it was temporary and all that, knew the highway's fumes couldnt be lived by for long with the chemical sensitivity and all. But i did so enjoy the wilderness part of being here (how ironic, living on such a noisy-fume-y highway yet still being able to walk up the hill to such deep wilderness that was so dear). I had no idea though just how quickly that move would need to happen until all the new noise happened, along with the continuing impact of the fumes of course. But really, i'd have had to move eventually becuase of the fumes anyway, all this did was speed it up, so i shouldnt be complaining.

Have found someplace to move to, but its more in the city, which i was really trying to avoid. But i'm trying to trust its been found for a reason...and i'm gratfeul for it. Its offroad from the main street so there wont as much traffic fumes as here, and the neighbors (as far as i know anyway) seem quieter at least... so i'll be moving next week or so, and we'll see. This wont be where i "land" though, i can see that already, becuase its too close to neighbors. When someone has chemical sensitivity they need to be far from neighbors (unless those neighbors share or respect your sensitivity, which is rare)...becuase if not then eventually there's usually conflict due to their fumes making you ill. I know that now, though it took me awhile to admit it....its simply the reality. So i either need to somehow have a miracle happen of having land away from city and neighbor fumes to finally ground and be at home (blissful sigh, smile)....or i need to truly embrace this image of my home-cloister here as a ship, simply being led by Him even if not grounded in the traditional way. Or maybe both, that would be heaven. Will have to see what unfolds.

At any rate, the ship image has been such a healing one lately. Its grounding comes not from an owned and claimed spot of earth, but rather from a sacred life in itself, from here:

A way of life - a floating monastery:

The journey was guided and shaped by the rules, not of navigation alone, but of the monastery from which Brendan started out - feasts, festivals, fasts and psalms.

When he left his original more traditional monastory walls, he built them on the ship really.... through "feasts, festival, fasts and psalms". Such food for thought.

And the ship image goes further too , from here:

The ship (bark or barque, barchetta) was an ancient Christian symbol. Its is the Church tossed on the sea of disbelief, worldliness, and persecution but finally reaching safe harbor with its cargo of human souls. Part of the imagery comes from the ark saving Noah's family during the Flood (1 Peter 3:20-21). Jesus protecting the Peter's boat and the apostles on the stormy Sea of Galilee (Mark 4:35-41) (is another.... And it is also symolic of) a means of conveyance between this world and the next. In Christian tradition, in which earthly life was seen as a pilgrimage, the ship of the church transports the faithful through the seas of the world to the heavenly home.

Through ths ship image, home really becomes simply...God. He is leading ones little ship. I am just finding more and more healing in this image.

Well, prayers for all that is happening would be so cherished if anyone is willing....for physical healing, for peace and quiet, for a calm and successful move, but most of all for a deepening trust.

A Very Blessed Shabbat all, and a wonderfully healing Sabbath : )

(Images from here and here)

A Sacred Table: Feastday of the Queenship of Mary

Blessed Feastday : )

The importance of feastdays has really been sinking in more and more. Things have been very trying lately to be sure....and feastdays really do help put things more in perspective, the deeper picture...the deeper life. The devotion of Medieval life in particular really revolved around sacred feastdays... and i so long for this.

But its more. Its the history of them, including the modern ones. When it comes to many of them their origins are ancient and Biblical, and yet they are instated later.... at the time in history when they are truly needed most. Talk about wisdom and healing! About today's feastday, from here:

In 1942, Pope Pius XII proclaimed this day (August 22) in honor of the Immaculate Heart of Mary and in 1945 he established this holiday of devotion to Mary in her compassionate aspect. Both were acts of spiritual warfare, designed to pose Mary and Catholicism as supreme weapons in the battle against godless Communism.

Then their is the "mirroring" aspect of feastdays, how they deepen the connection between heaven and earth, let us feel heaven a little closer. Yet is also goes the other way around too, from here:

The gospel reading for the Queenship of Mary is the story of the Annunciation, and what struck me at Mass today was the fact that the royal status of Mary was established on earth historically before it was established in heaven. First of all it was established because Mary was the wife of Joseph, who, Matthew's geneology tells us was descended from King David. Secondly it was established through the message of the angel. Mary's son will receive the throne of his Father David, and he will rule of Israel (Lk.2:32,33) This fact makes Mary the Queen Mother of Jesus the Lord, the King of Israel.

Her crowning in heaven is simply the ultimate fulfillment of her role on earth. When we see her in the Book of Revelation crowned with twelve stars (Rev.12:2) the symbolism and her function are complete. The twelve stars represent the twelve tribes of Israel and the twelve apostles--symbolic of her son's rule as the King of Israel and the everlasting Ruler of the Apostolic Church. Her role as Queen of Heaven is therefore the completion of her role as the hidden Queen Mother of the King of Israel here on earth.

What I find intriguing about this is the idea that an event in heaven parallels a reality on earth. If this is the case with Our Lady, then perhaps it is also the case with all of the redeemed. Mary's Queenship on earth was always humble and lowly and full of suffering-- for a sword pierced her own heart also. However, this lowly and humble Queenship on earth was magnified and brought to its full reality and full glory as she was assumed into heaven and crowned as the Queen Mother of her Son.

Is it the same with us? I think so. Certainly our participation in the sacraments is a time when our actions on earth are mirrored in heaven. When we repent the angels rejoice. When we participate in the Eucharist we share in the wedding feast of the Lamb in heaven. When we are baptized, confirmed or ordained we are given a new and everlasting character.

Furthermore, perhaps all our earthly sorrows, trials and tribulations have a parallel version in the cosmos--a sort of mirror version which is far more glorious than we can ever imagine. Are our lives hidden? Do we struggle day after day to realize the glorious royal potential to which we are called? I believe on the other side it will all be transformed. Here we see through a glass darkly. Then we shall see things as they really are. Then we will be blinded by the awesome beauty of reality, for we shall see Him as he is who is Reality itself. Then every last detail of our lives will be redeemed and transformed into an intricate and eternal plan of glory that is far more beautiful and profound than we can now comprehend. (bolding my own).

This just really moved something, reading this. Especially that part about things being transformed. It so much reminded me of that dream from last Candlemas, when there was a beach stick on the mantle and in the dream i woke up there to find it suddenly beautifully embellished....with the realization that perhaps that is what happens in heaven. That that is why we so need to be simple and mindful and devoted and carefully pay attention to details.... rather than rush rush rush and gather gather gather gather. Why we need to not be cluttered or scattered, inside or out....becuase it will all get em-bell-ished in the end. And depending on how we have lived, that em-bell-ish-ment can then bring rich and peaceful beauty or it can bring overwhelm and chaos. Well, those were the feelings of the dream anyway, for what they are worth. I just find myself thinking back to it today.

This truly is a beautiful feastday today. And we need this reminder today more than ever it seems. This wonderful reminder that our own dear Blessed Mother is indeed Queen of Heaven, and the most loving Queen or Mother we could ever dream of....

For human life is short, but Mary reigns above, a Queen forever--Cardinal Newman

A Very Blessed Feastday Everyone : )

(Image from Standing on My Head)

Was gathering qoutes tonight from a book series read recently, the "Annie's People" trilogy by Beverly Lewis. Loved so much how this one below spoke to what happened with the rain earlier...

Esther had been reading a Bible story to the older children near the wood stove while nursing Essie Ann. All the while Zach kept glancing at the ceiling, his eyes bright with the awareness of the ticking sound of sleet on the roof. Soon Laura and John were looking up, as well.

"'Does the Lord God make the snow and sleet? ", Zach asked when she finished the story.

"Our heavenly Father knows just what we need---rain, sleet, snow--and we can trust him for everything. Even for the weather." She had been cautiously yet consistently sharing with the children...she was beginning to see a tendrness of spirit in them, too...

(Image via Under the Gables, an illustration by Marguerite de Angeli from Henner's Lydia)

A Healing Table: Tending the Castle

Things have been difficult lately healthwise, and friday night was spent in the emergency room. Have some follow ups coming up to find out more, something's really going on with the throat or stomach it seems... and the chemical sensitivity has been in overdrive lately too. Added to that have been some major noise issues....constant truck traffic of the highway right outside my window, neighbor noise on both sides (machines that vibrate, yelling, a child riding his very noisy motorcycle all the time and the like). So much for the quiet little town i was hoping this would be when i'd moved here. I cant even see how my sanity is going to last here another week....and yet with my health the way it is i wonder if i'd be able to go through a move right now either. I'm really at a loss. And between it all, theres noise not only during the day but also at night too, and even my dreams have gotten all chaotic, i never seem to wake up rested anymore, go around in a stressed daze. Been feeling in overdrive on so many levels really, like i'm about to lose it lately. Prayers would be gratefully cherished for sure.

Stressful times like this, it can amp up that inner longing for our castle-ness i find, that yearning for a deeper fairy tale life. Castles evoke something deep in so many of us...safety is there, but a beautiful kind of safety. A real richness of life. A remembering that we really were created for a fairy tale life really when it comes down to it, because we are are beloved of God. I've needed a reminder there.

A few "castle tending" qoutes that've been standing out:

Tending the Castle Courtyard (the Outer Life):

Instead of rushing through our lives to get somewhere - instead of saving up real living for later - I think it's important to remember that each single day is all we have. Single days experienced fully add up to a lifetime lived deeply and well. Today is your life - not yesterday and tomorrow. If we have tomorrow, it will be a gift, but what we do today, right now, will have an accumulated effect on all our tomorrows. If we make short-shrift of our day-to-day lives, even if we live to experience "later," I don't believe we weill know fully how to appreciate what we have. Living well is a habit, and rituals improve and reinforce good life habits....

(For example, ) I've learned to make a project mine by setting it up so it will be pleasurable to me. The more senses I can involve, the better. I know that by heightening sense awareness in the acts I perform I can enrich the activity and make the time i spend doing it more enjoyable. And so I deliberately try to awaken the five sense in whatever it is I'm doing.

I have a friend who has made bill paying into a ritual. She puts Brahms on her stereo, she places an arrangement of flowers on her desk, she dresses in a fresh blouse and skirt so she is actually ready to mail her bills as soon as she is finished. She has elevated a necessary task - bill paying - into a ritual through the details surrounding how she does it --from Alexandra Stoddard's Living a Beautiful Life (hat tip to Study in Brown)

Tending the Castle Rooms (the Home)

I WILL arise and go now, and go to (the lake isle of) Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honeybee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evenings full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear the lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements gray,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.--William Butler Yeats
(hat tip to Tea at Trianon)

Tending Soul Castle (the Inner Life):

...We know we have souls. But we seldom consider the precious things that can be found in this soul, or Who dwells within it, or it's high value. Consequently, little effort is made to preserve its beauty. All our attention is taken up with the plainness of the diamond's setting or the outer wall of the castle, that is, with these bodies of ours.--from St Teresa Avila's The Interior Castle (hap tip to Sanctuary Moment)

Castle Crossroads (Pilgrimage and Learning)

“The Lord will either calm your storm…or allow it to rage while He calms you.”–anonymous

This morning I was down to just enough grocery money to take care of the weekend’s needs...We’ve been waiting over 3 weeks for a customer of my husband’s to pay a deposit. No amount of coaxing worked and we just had to wait. And wait. And wait. This morning I went to the post office box and there it was. Relief. The grocery list could expand to include some extra items and I’ll have the funds to buy more gas too.

It’s too bad that money issues can be so frustrating. But paired with faith, the lessons can be long-lasting. I’m getting better about not becoming so desperate when tough times linger. I don’t get as aggravated and allow myself to be distracted by other things so I’m not preoccupied by financial worries.

Now for those of you who rejoice in a regular paycheck, I realize you’re not immune to money issues. We’ve all got ‘em, just in different degrees. The faith still applies, though. Practice it and allow it to grow. He simply wants us to believe in Him. (hat tip to The Mother's Hour)

Now, to apply this to health and noise worries as well.

Something about all this really boils down to presentness i think. Thats where the magic is, where the faith grows, where we feel Him near. Thats where the fairy tale is, our "castles". Now how to be more present even when there is mega stress though, thats what i struggle with.

Though even there He does eventually reach us i think, if we'll stop fighting Him. I've been at a real breaking point the last few days and it was coming to a head today... trust me it wasnt pretty. But later in the day, it rained. And somehow something happened inside, something softened. My health hasnt changed, and neither has the noise, but i do feel calmer somehow. And i'm so grateful, that He knew i needed this. It seems things only push so far (even if its farther than we'd like) and then there's a bit of releif somehow.....and that just seems to make all the difference in the world. It always seems to happen somehow, eventually. Slowly, slowly, am learning to notice this... to trust it.

When it was raining and was feeling the calming, i heard "notice this" (notice how the rain had made such a difference). Immediately made me think of the "not a desert but an ocean" image that keeps coming up a lot. Blazing our way forward is one way to advance in our spiritual lfe, but so is the softenss of rain. Fire changes things, but so does water. At any rate, these water images, and castle images, are just really beckoning right now. Perhaps they hold a healing balm...

(Image from here)

A Simple Table: In the Spirit of Simple Pleasures

Susan of High Desert Home has shared a project going on from her friend Aimee, " a week of simple pleasures" . Okay, so the week is at its end lol, but in the words of Susan, " It's not too late to start!" So i'm taking that literally : ) Becuase thats been where the focus has been lately even more than usual (see last post), the little openings He gives us that heal...the simple things, the simple pleasures.

A few things come to mind. One a post that has inspired there, and second a few simple pleasures. First the post, from Melissa of Tea With Milk:

"I was showing my anxiety the other day and my husband reminded me of how fortunate we are. Truly, he’s right. We do have a great marriage. The kids are honestly good kids, and our health is fine. If money is our only worry, then we don’t have any real problems. A check from a client can solve our problems. How easy is that?

Being self-employed forces us to lean totally on God, and that’s a different way to live if you’ve always been able to depend on a salary check to solve your debts. I sometimes envy those who have that security. But at the same time, I’m always fascinated at how the money rolls in. Without letting it become a god, which money has the reputation of being, I do stand back amazed at God working in our lives. It’s not always a walk in the park, but it is an adventure.

As for today. It’s good. We have dinner, and the makings of a bit of income. We’re not there yet, but it’s going to be okay. I find a lot of comfort in that mindset too. It really will be okay."

I'm with Melissa. The little tangible things, the things of our actual day to day lived life.....our dinner on the table, a kind family (even if that family is just you and another, or even simply you and God), a peaceful little home of some sort, a healing daily rhythm.....that's the "real" stuff. Its when i worry about the abstract-y stuff that the worry sets in....the future of my health, how much money we will have, and the like. God is here in the "little" things right now, these little things in life are like His hands reaching out to provide and to heal. Now if that isnt that true treasure...

Then there are some other day to day"little things"as simple pleasures. Walks in nature are definitely one of them for me. I always see something special on little walks like this....a deer, a bird, a butterfly, a stone, a leaf. And even if just in city-nature there is often a play of light that draws, or a cloud that catches the eye, or simply the feel of the air. And what's more, even if one's "walk" is somedays only by looking out the window with an open spirit, even that offers nature's gifts. Every single time there is....something. Its like opening a present. My fiance and i have promsed to take a walk together each day that we can, as long as we can. Its a simple pleasure we plan to be a permanent one....following the marriage advice of my paternal grandparents, who claimed daily walks together to be a most important thing : )

Then there is the simple pleasure of domesticness. There is simple cleaning, and cooking, and even just doing the dishes. Work they may be, but funny how healing they really are. I may forget that, and then my injury flares up and i have to back off from them and realize how much i miss them. How dear they really are deep down. And so too, is this humble little trailer home!

Then there is food, mmmmm....Simple pleasures there lately have been Jasmine suntea, water with lime and msm in the morning (a natural yummy allergy remedy), the lovely cherries and berries that have been in season lately (some at my side here as we speak, smile), the day to day staple of beans and grains (i LOVE beans and grains), mustard mixed with chopped garlic ( a new obsession, and a natural antibiotic too), fresh (even if storebought) sourdough bread. And most of all i have really been enjoying homemade yogurt, which is so easy to make and really feels nurturing. I use this recipe but let it ferment about time and a half so it becomes thicker, like a very thick shake. Then i stir in some well-mushed banana and some unsweetened cocoa powder, and it makes the yummiest shake ever. Seriously : )

Then there is light...as in candlelight. One of the simple pleasures i have enjoyed so much is using natural olive oil for candles rather than store bought candles. Simply take a cotton ball, leaving the bulk of it as is but pulling the top into a taper. Put the cottonball into a nice glass container (like a thick dish or goblet), fill with olive oil leaving the wick exposed, wet the wick with the oil, and light. Any vegetable oil can be used really, though olive oil is traditional. It was surely simple oil lights that were used for light in The Holy Family's home. And just knowing that makes things feel more peaceful as i light it. A true and precious simple pleasure : )

Well, wishing you all a Blessed Sabbath weekend....filled with simple joys : )

(Image source unknown)

A Fun Table: Award-y Stuff.... and the Art of Everyday

Sweet Laure over at Sometimes...gave this blog an award today. Thank you so much Laure , that was so kind of you :) ! And how fun too...its the Arte y pico, its picture is to the right, and its details are here.

Though this bends the "rules" a bit, i'd love to pass the award onto to all of you who are linked to in the library here....becuase you are all there for a reason, you truly inspire me. I consider homemaking an art for sure, and when you add the sort of beauty that all of you bring to things to boot, well its such an amazing thing!

And it has me thinking too...our simple everyday living, it really is an art after all, isnt it ? And that's why you all inspire me so much, you live that : )

(Images from here and here )

A Hopeful Table: Lessons from a Dragonfly

Today my Prince (fiance) gave me a gift...a rather beautiful lacey winged dragonfly. The little guy had gotten hit by a car window probably, and was there (still intact, though passed on already) on the ground when he came accross it today. It's now here at my desk, awaiting some way to preserve it meaningfully. Ideas anyone?

So i looked up dragonflys online today, hadnt known much about them. There are some fearful supersitions around them in Europe's past, but in the east they are seen quite differently. In Japan especially, they are big in the mythology there, symbols of joy and courage (thats why they are seen so much in the art of the Samuri). And i was surprsed to find out that it turns out a Japanese festival is happening right now, the festival of Oban/the Lantern Festival (some celebrate it now, some in August). And it seems the dragonfly symbol is part of this festival, our ancestors are seen as traveling upon dragonflys to revisit those they love. And later in the festival (which lasts three days), their spirits are lovingly released back to the heavens upon floating water lanterns, lanterns upon which folks write prayers for their beloved ancestors. The theme of all this is gratitute for those that have come before us, praying for their repose, and celebrating the good that was in their lives. I know some shy away from ritual and myth and symbol like this, but i feel these things can hold real depth, especially if seen as archetypal. The world of archetype and story and myth and symbol is a very precious thing i feel. Its simply inner nature...as much a gift from our Creator as outer nature.


And it all definintely has me thinking today. Has anyone heared the song Suteki Da Ne? Its one i really love, even though i know next to nothing about the movie it is from (Final Fantasy). If this video is any indication though, its a story about a world gone way too far in technology and power hunger and eerily rampant with evil (sound familiar?). Stories can bring hope when they come from a deep place though. This video, for example, has quite disturbing images of this disturbing techno-world, yet against all this is justaposed the softness and realness of nature, and the calmness of contemplation. The contrast is quite powerful i feel, and.... hopeful. It all culminates, it looks like, in returning to these more ancient and gentle roots, and in this story/video this return seems to involve an Oban festival of all things (at least thats what it looks like). Anyway, this dragonfly thing is what got me to look closer at it. Not that the video is important, but rather something that it brought up. There was just something about seeing it today, that contrast of hatred and powerlust against the beauty of nature and gentleness of ancient traditions. The feeling was....there is hope, there is hope, there is hope, even in the midst of all this...like this little whisper, like a precious thread to cling to. And its hope i feel when i look at the little dragonfly on my desk.

Dragonflys. Ancestors. Gentleness. Hope.

When i think of those that came before me, especially those like my grandmothers, i tend to think of their hands. What they touched, what they soothed, tears they wiped away... tears of others or their own. Warmth in their hands, like the warmth of nature. A soft heartbeat. Just human, real. Vulnerable. Hopeful, reaching, soothing.

That was their legacy to me in a sense, this feeling of hope their hands gave. That there really can be gentleness to turn to, even when there is evil so rampant everywhere. That He always leaves us that opening somehow. It all sounds ironic when i think about it, becuase one of my grandmothers was actually very abusive. Yet its the moments of kind soft hands that i am remembering tonight for some reason. Maybe that is what was most important, most real. Whatever the case, its given me hope. I can't quite explain it. But i am grateful....

(Images from here and here)

A Musing Table: Simplicity and Silence

This week has been a full one. For the past several nights now i've been watching Into Great Silence, watching a bit further each night, just havent had the chance to watch it all at one go. In one scene the other night there was the sound of owls there that made me smile...and then i realized the owls were outside my window really, not part of the movie at all but part of my life. Later as i was watching i heard these loud obnoxius screeching trucks in the background....and these too were not part of the movie but outside my window. It made me laugh, i guess it was the huge contrast there...."into great silence" meets "noisy blaring highway"...both meeting in the same room.

Life is like that here...so contrasting. Amazing beautiful nature (deers, owls, coyotes, hawks...) right alongside pollution from the ickky crop spraying of the farms. Very small-townness i love yet the fumes and noise of a major highway that runs through it. Such deep peace and quiet and wilderness when i so much as walk a mere 5 minutes up the hill...yet here at home i'm so close to the highway fumes ive been getting migraines and have one now. A place i will need to move from (from this particular spot anyway) becuase the pollution is really causing health issues (i have EI). Yet a place i will always treasure becuase of the amazing creatures i have been with here, especially the deers and owls. Yesterday i even saw them together...an owl on one side of the path while walking, a deer on the other... and both quite up close too. How could i not dearly treasure that?

Such a contrast of things here.

Then there are more contrasts that this Into Great Silence movie has been slowly bringing home. Ever since i was a little girl i have had monastic leanings. Yet at the same time, ever since i was a little girl i have had deep longings for marriage. And here i am now, thinking of what the future will hold with my fiance and so glad our future will be together. Yet at the same time the monastic longings keep getting stronger and stronger as well, and i wonder what form things will take. Deeper domestic monastery-ness maybe? For i really do belive the domestic can be the monastic if truly appraoched that way. Well, will see He has is store.

Contrasts. Discerning. Needing...silence.

I keep thinking of what silence means....an emptying. An emptying for a far greater richness. Peace not from naming and claiming but rather from being more prayerful and open and ocean like. This qoute stuck with me yesterday, from Sr Mary Catharine Perry, author of Amtaa means Beloved:

Many people think the cloistered life is a waste...(Yet) when research scientists and artists separate themselves from the world, it's because they need to get more intense. Nobody thinks a scientist is escaping when he just needs to be removed from everything.

Then there was this one, from Elizabeth Barrett Browing:

Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God:
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes

Then this, from a book study (on Gifts From the Sea) from The Bower struck me tonight...

I am challenged by the....idea of succumbing to the ancient rhythms of the sea...of relaxing, opening, emptying....Must we get there before we can receive "what perfectly rounded stone...what rare shell from the ocean floor. Perhaps a channelled whelk, a moon shell, or even an argonaut.

Relaxing, opening, emptying. Silence. Not like a desert is silent but like an ocean is silent. Silence that has warmth, life, wombness, a heartbeat. That recieves those stones and "rare shells". That takes off its shoes becuase it realizes it truly is on holy ground. The sacred in the mundane. The silence in the beat of heart and swell of wave.

Not sure where this is going, only that its such a deep longing. Its tied in with the Holy Poverty (see here and here too) draw as well, both are about an opening and simplifying and letting go, for a deeper richness really. This stood out, from here:

Franciscans call their poverty "disappropriation."....Appropriation is claiming.... It is like the sin of Adam and Eve....trying to be like God. That was a lie. They already were like God. They didn't have to do anything but receive (that likeness) and say yeah. Similarly, Poor Clares recognize they have everything - "the sun in the morning and the moon at night," in the words of an old song - and they don't have to go out grasping and corralling it

St Clare has really been on my mind lately. There is just something so archetypal about the Franciscans that feels to hold something key. I love how St Francis took the heroic knightly path of active male "out in the world"-ness in his faith, and St Claire lived as a beautifully contemplative cloistered and very feminine soul. Together, such a deep complement. Very fairy tale. And since fairy tales come from the archetypal, i tend to think that which feels "fairy tale" tends to hold great truth.

Just love this famous qoute of St Clare's, from her second letter to Blessed Agnes of Prague :

..always remember your resolution
and be conscious of how you began.
What you hold, may you always hold,
What you do, may you always do and never abandon.
But with swift pace, light step, unswerving feet,
so that even your steps stir up no dust,
may you go forward
securely, joyfully, and swiftly,
on the path of prudent happiness

I ask myself now...so what was my beginning, my resolution? It was dual from the beginning i think, domestic and monastic. Have heared it said though that truth tends to lie at the heart of what seems like a contradiction.

One thing did happen that has really stayed with me this week, a co-in-see-dance. When i was watching the Into Great Silence movie, wanted to change the background color of the desktop so it would be less bright and easier to watch the movie on. So i went in to change it and rather than the color just changing, an old desktop image accidentally came up, the one right below. If you press it, you will find a really wonderful passage on silence from a favorite author Catherine Doherty. And its really stirred something lately.

Anyway, this mix of thoughts is where things are right now, and seemed a good time to journal. Depending on the migraine, may or may not post tomarrow. So wishing you all an early....

Good Shabbas, and Blessed Sabbath : )

(Images from Melissa Howard of Those Northern Skies, and from Catherine Doherty via here)

A Sabbath Table: The Magic of Ordinary Days

Was kind of an intense day today, going around mega insulating against scary little critters (see last post). Ticks, deer flies, fleas, very determined wasps, critters are in abundance and everywhere....seriously i've never seen so many insects before. And that doesnt even count the zillions of spiders i see everywhere, or the skeeters.....or the rattle snakes that are in this area (luckily have not seen one yet, thank you Lord). The locals tell me this is just an especially bad year here for insects, since the winter was so mild that it didnt check their populations like winter is supposed to. Hello global warming. I'm not longing for the city again, not by a longshot. In fact i still long for deeper yet wilderness. But ive had a very hard time with this insect party zone thing.

So today my Prince was outside insulating the place. And i was doing stuff in here, had been going at it since i got up. Early afternnoon he calls in the door..."So what's for lunch?".

Lunch? I hadnt even eaten breakfast, had just been grazing while standing up doing stuff because things felt so pressing. And had given him snacks for out there too, assuming he'd just do the same. I thought...."Lunch? We have so much to do here to get this place more bug proof, needing to have done it like yesterday....who cares about something like lunch?" But that wasnt said out loud, instead to make him happy i just started to make something. And was surprised at how happy it made me too...not sure why i'm always surprised when this happens. But when i am stressed and rushing and its the worst time in the world to stop and make something...somehow doing it anyway is what calms me down so much. The simple act of making a little cassarole, the making of it in itself, the mixing things, even doing the dishes...let alone the having a decent lunch, somehow made a rather stressful day so much calmer. I'm still not sure why i'm always surprised when this happens...my head knows it will. But my body, so caught up in the stress and trying to get something done i'm focused on...my body gets surprised every time.

The phrase "the magic of ordinary days" is what comes to mind. The ordinary mundane stuff...it still keeps amazing me how it's what seems to hold the healing perhaps most of all, for everyone in the house really. Am reminded of a favorite post, The Healing Hand of Home, from Lynn of All Things Bright and Beautiful:

"I got the call we all dread "I've had a bump in the car". I could hear the traffic racing by as my son stood chatting to me on the hard shoulder (emergency lane on the motorway). "No-one's hurt." I sighed a huge sigh of relief...

I made supper as usual, I tidied the kitchen as usual, I put laundry away as usual, I set the fire as usual. Then with my jobs finished I sat before the fire in a dark room & took stock ...I pondered on how, throughout the trials of the day, I had continued to be the keeper of my home & that had got me through. After the bad stuff, my family had come home. And yes, corny/cheesy or not we had all experienced the healing hand of home.

The rhythm of creating order at home had given me peace & calm which could later be enjoyed by the other members of the family. I use the word rhythm in preference to "routine" which for many sums up boredom & chores but to me routine is restorative.

Another of life's lessons learnt?
No matter what is happening outside this house, no matter how crazy the world becomes; what happens within the four walls of my home will set standards, traditions & peace that can be taken forward in our lives....

(Now) today I am home alone in a quiet house. Hopefully the day will be totally uneventful and I will do what I normally do as usual. But in the quiet solitude I am very aware of the healing hand of my home."

The magic of ordinary days. Big time. By the way the movie by that title (such a good movie!) is here. Well worth watching : )

And it's funny... i always think of the Sabbath as such a precious gift we are given...even if i'm still far below the mark in keeping the Sabbath as it should be (slowly working on this). But our "ordinary time", the preciousness of that too, the joy there, the GIFT....well the gift there seems to hit most of all as the Sabbath approaches and we are about to leave ordinary time behind for a bit. Or ideally leave it behind anyway...in my life entering Sabbath fully needs some deepening for sure.

Well, Good Shabbas All,
And a Very Blessed Sabbath...
And Happy 4th of July too : )

Inserted later: So far no wasps inside, happy happy dance : ) The nest building may have been halted by the seal off....but deeper still by His protection. Thank you thank you God for protecting here! : )

(Bottom image from here, top image unknown)

A Grateful Table: Of Deer Paths and Summertime

I tend to not be a huge fan of summer or spring, am more a cool weather girl. There is just such a soothing cleanness and freshness and quiet in the cooler months i treasure, and i have a harder time with the noise and pollens and heat that tend to be in the warmer months. Yet it seems every year something, at some point, "seduces" me into loving the warm months too in their own way. This year, it had its baby start yesterday... with rediscovering the joy of making suntea (made jasmine suntea the past couple days, yummmmm). But what truly opened the door happened just this evening...

I was out walking with my prince (fiance) earlier, and we saw two adult mule deer on the roads edge by a nice big field. There was something special about these sweet deer, they seemed to trust us easily and actually walked towards us. They even came within a few feet of us at one point, it was just amazing. And at another point in the walk, looking further out into the field, we saw not only a mule deer mama but also her baby fawn!

Now there's been treasured experiences with deer before, but i've never seen such a very young baby deer in the wild...this was a first! The cute little guy was so tiny at first i almost thought he was a large rabbit. And the way mule deer move, he almost moved like one too. Truly, it was the most precious, incredible thing. Definitely goes in the heart's treasure chest.

And it got me thinking, how so many births in nature happen in spring and summer. Surely that is a gift....to say the least : ) I'd be lying if i said i didnt miss the peaceful crisp cooler months, becuase i do. A lot. Yet i still find that, once again, i've been seduced into loving the gifts hidden in summer again. All becuase of a baby deer.

This experience also reminded me of the gentle paths deer lead. A re-mind-er i needed badly...especially today. And now i keep thinking of Bambi's Mother honestly, how she nurtured and kept, how her eyes and words were so soft and kind. I long to be more like that....and i am so grateful for this reminder from the deer.

And its reminding too, of something been meaning to mention here more. Most folks may be already aware of it, but there is such a wonderful gratitude community and ongoing gratitude journal over at Holy Experience. Really inspiring! In fact i'm heading over there right now...just follow the deer tracks : )

(Images from here , here and here)

A Healing Table: The Bells of Returning

(Carried over from the old blog, originally from 4/9/08p)

I just love this image of Our Lord ringing His bell, gently calling us back into His presence. Brother Lawrence called this daily returning "The Practice of the Presence of God". And below, reprinted with permission, is a wonderful sermon on this. It's from Pastor Kevin Martineau of Vancouver Island, British Columbia. From here:

"PRACTICING THE PRESENCE OF GOD

Brother Lawrence was a monk in France during the 1600’s. He was assigned to the monastery kitchen where, amidst the tedious chores of cooking and cleaning at the constant bidding of his superiors, he developed his rule of spirituality and work. In his book “Maxims”, Brother Lawrence writes, "Men invent means and methods of coming at God's love, they learn rules and set up devices to remind them of that love, and it seems like a world of trouble to bring oneself into the consciousness of God's presence. Yet it might be so simple. Is it not quicker and easier just to do our common business wholly for the love of him?"

For Brother Lawrence, "common business," no matter how mundane or routine, was the medium of God's love. The issue was not the sacredness or worldly status of the task but the motivation behind it. He also said: "Nor is it needful that we should have great things to do. . . We can do little things for God; I turn the cake that is frying on the pan for love of him, and that done, if there is nothing else to call me, I prostrate myself in worship before him, who has given me grace to work; afterwards I rise happier than a king. It is enough for me to pick up but a straw from the ground for the love of God."

Brother Lawrence retreated to a place in his heart where the love of God made every detail of his life of surpassing value. He said: "I began to live as if there were no one save God and me in the world." Together, God and Brother Lawrence cooked meals, ran errands, scrubbed pots, and endured the scorn of the world.

To live moment by moment conscious of the Lord's presence is the key to Christian living – this is the KEY to a growing personal relationship with God in the midst of the busyness of life. But how do we practice God's presence throughout the day? I would like to offer six simple suggestions for walking daily with God so that we can grow in our personal relationship with Him:

1. Begin each day conscious of God.

When you first wake up in the morning focus on God. Meditate on a hymn, a Psalm or other portion of Scripture that will help you come before God in worship. There is power in worship. Put aside all the cares and pressures of the day and praise God for who He is: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Praise Him for His presence and His promises.

2. Read God's Word.

Psalm 119:130 says: “The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple." Ask God for spiritual insight from the portion you read in the morning. When I go to the Scriptures I ask the Lord for a verse or promise from my morning reading. Try it. Ask God to teach you during the day from that verse. You will find greater spiritual depth in applying God's Word to your daily activities. Psalm 119:11 says: “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”

3. Pray.

Each morning dedicate yourself to God’s service (Romans 12:1). Confess any known sin and pray for your needs and the needs of others (1 John 1:9; James 5:16b). Speak to the Lord throughout the day as Brother Lawrence was such a great example of. Don't wait for formal times of prayer. Keep short accounts of confessed sin. Don't allow problems to cloud God's presence (Philippians 4:6-7). He has promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Therefore tell Him your innermost thoughts. Ask Him for help in every difficulty. Nothing is too small to matter: nothing is too great.

4. Let thankfulness be the habit of your life.

Learn to thank the Lord in every situation you face (1 Thessalonians 5:18). You will be surprised at how much you have to be thankful for when you let the Lord direct your day (Romans 8:28). And thankfulness will produce joy Nehemiah 8:10 says: "The joy of the Lord is your strength". Your enemies--the world, the flesh and the devil--have little influence when your eyes are on God. Even if there is nothing else to rejoice in, rejoice in the God of your salvation.

5. Learn to be quiet in God’s presence.

In this hectic world God’s words, "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10), are much needed. God speaks to the quiet, attentive heart. By daily reading His Word, it is stored in your mind for the Holy Spirit to call to remembrance. Make time throughout your day to be still and to be quiet before God.

6. At the close of the day, rest in God's presence.

Thank Him for how He has led you in that day. Meditate on His Word so that the last conscious thoughts on your mind are of His faithfulness. A daily walk with God is the blessed life.

Six simple things that we can be doing THROUGHOUT our day that can deepen our personal relationship with God. Simply put: just practice the presence of God throughout your day. Jesus says: “Come to me . . . and you will find rest for your soul.”

Don’t allow busyness and other distractions to hinder and stop you from coming to Jesus and from growing in your relationship with Him and experiencing REAL LIFE!"

(Sermon reprinted from Shooting the Breeze; Image adapted from a lovely holy card at He Gently Calls Us)

A Summer Solstice Table: Of Praise Walks and Heartprints

Today was the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. And when out walking today it was really hitting just what a gift walking is. Walking slows us down to a natural rhythm. And yet at the same time it also raises us up in a way, gives us a rather precious "window" to see things deeper.

Prayer walks are a long standing sacred tradition. Rosary walks are one form of this, walking with spontaneous prayer another. Instinctively, many have known that something about walking can really open a door there. And i think Dawn of By Sun and Candlelight hit the nail on the head by focusing on "praise walks" as part of why walking can be such a door. It helps us see deeper... to see the precious gifts we have been given. Well, not just deepening our seeing to find the gifts but deepening all our senses really. Today for example the smell from the lilacs and sage outside was just pure ambrosia, no denying what a precious gift it was....or how much we are cared for.

From Dawn's post:

"If the weather is accomodating, head out for a leisurely nature walk. You need to bring nothing more than your keen senses with you (though you could of course bring a camera or sketch pad). Smell the new grass, hear the birds in the trees, look around and see the beauty of our world. Look, in particular, for little signs of life... And for everything you see, every little thing you marvel over, give thanks to God for the world He created for us....

Now, if the weather is not accomodating, (you or) your children can still participate in a Praise Walk...sit by a window and gaze out upon the world. From (there we can) can surely see many lovely things to be thankful for...

Simply put, a Praise Walk is a nature walk, but today we bring fresh eyes to the landscape, and we seek out more than just a new flower or the toad underfoot. Today we leave our field guides behind and let our hearts lead the way."

I also love so much how Britt-Arnhild sees this....as finding heartprints in nature. From her post:

"Creation, if you look close, it is not difficult to find heartprints. I have looked after them for years, and have a hearty collection now, both photos and small stones which I collect. My favorite one is the puddle where I found angels playing...

In nature I look at the "heartpaws" as prints from God's walking stick. God is never far away from his Creation, and from time to time, quite often rather :-), he takes a walk to enjoy the beauty of His nature. Let's take care of Mother Earth (so as) not to disappoint Him on his next walk."

A Blessed Summer Solstice...and Good Shabbas : )

(Top image of a rosary walk garden in Lyons France, from here; next image is of a "heartprint" photographed by Britt-Arnhild, from here)

A Hopeful Table: Home, the Miracle Place

I'm a big believer in dreams, but sadly can't always remember the night's dreams. Sometimes i'll wake up with more just a feeling from the dream instead, or a phrase will be there. The other morning, woke up with "make this a miracle place" as i looked around this little home here. And boy are miracles needed now! I won't bore y'all with the details, but its been tough to say the least.

So...making home a miracle place. Well, i sure don’t think we "create our own reality" or any of that nonsense. We are not God, and shouldn’t pretend we are, we cannot create miracles. But something about "making a miracle place" on the other hand, has really stuck. Something about beautifying one's place, about making it more prayerful and peaceful, it really does change something i think. It doesn’t create a miracle, but maybe it helps us to somehow believe in miracles once again. And that's definitely no small thing.

In one of my favorite posts ever (yes Ann, i'm quoting this one yet again lol) it gives a sense of this. From here:

"All once was perfect, ordered, pristine, back there, In the Beginning. In That Garden. But not now. Not in this house, not in this garden. Science may call it entropy, the second law of thermodynamics, the wearing down of all systems, the measure of chaos. I call it what You call it: sin and decay, and my daily battle. Weeds, dirty laundry, piling dishes, dust collecting...this is life after the Fall.

Yet, in small ways, I return to You and the Perfect Time Before when I order, wash away, sweep clean...beating back the chaos, the powers of destruction. Simple acts of cleaning are my humble, conquering efforts in the quotidian struggle between chaos and order, creation and disintegration, God and Death.

Deliberate, ritual motions maintain an easy order. Easier than wresting order out of invading chaos. And a tidy house ushers in the possibility of a tidy heart. A heart beating with Yours, in a place more like that place In the Beginning.

Is this housework a picture of entering into Redemption? To bring restoration to that which has fallen...

I frame this cleaning as my monastic beauty, my daily wrestle, to create, in imperfect ways, a world for these loved ones... like You created so perfectly for humanity when the world began...."

Truly, something about ordering and beautifying brings us back to that original beauty and innocence a bit more, that fairy-tale-ness....and that returns to us that fragile and precious hope in the miraculous. A hope that anything is possible through He who loves us, if it is His Will. And He truly has our loving care at heart. Now if that isnt miraculous : )

I've found myself turning to the sink/stove area more lately, tending the "kitchen sink shrine". One of the joys of this little place is all the vintage tiles and things, so the sink stove area has been really cleared lately so all the tiles show. And in the lattice work alongside the stove (this is hard to describe, its kind of like lace in feeling but made of white metal and glass, another really sweet vintage touch in this little trailer) are various favorite holy cards of the Holy Family, a little crucifix, a bluebird feather. The funny thing is, the more that area gets beautified, the more i truly long to be there more and more often, looking out that kitchen window, and out onto the water. It’s the same little window i cook by, the same window i wash the dishes by. It’s the same window the blue heron flew right by recently. Its the same window that will come with me even when i move (since i live in a trailer, it happily comes along). And the thing is, its always been here, just waiting to be part of "home, the miracle place".

Our own little kitchen sinks, the stuff of prayer places and fairy tales and miracles? Well why not : ) ? Our Matriarchs in the OT had their wells, we have our kitchen sinks. God was alive and miraculous back then, God is alive and miraculous today. He is everywhere, even in our humble little kitchen sinks. And i thought i'd gather today some posts that have really inspired in this area.

First, from Kitchen Madonna, i love this so much:

"Great saints of the Church have known that God may be found while elbow deep in suds and dirty dishes. Saint Teresa of Avila claimed that "The Lord walks among the pots and pans." Her spiritual son, generations removed, Brother Lawrence, a humble, 17th century monastery cook and clean-up guy, is famous for his conversations with a learned bishop about how to practice the Presence of God while washing pots and pans.

Simply put, Brother Lawrence enjoyed his life in the kitchen, especially the lowly, menial tasks because he was constantly lifting his mind, spirit, and body in prayer. Especially while he did the dishes. Doing all things as unto the Lord, as if for the Lord, transformed his kitchen sink into a kind of holy of holies. No wonder the other monks, monastery visitors, tradesmen from town, the bishop, and others who heard about his saintliness gravitated to his kitchen. It was a place of joy and peace.

Finding the sacred in the everyday is as simple as doing the tasks before you with great mindfulness, not worrying about the overdrawn checkbook or tomorrow's meeting. Losing yourself in the task at hand, simply put yourself in the Presence of God, letting go of any distracting thoughts as they invariably surface. This is what is classically known as the discernment of thoughts, what the Church offered centuries and centuries before that secular gift known as cognitive therapy. Constantly return to the trust and peace that comes with abandoning yourself to Divine Providence. In time, you won't notice how long it takes to wash the dishes because you will have entered Kairos or eternal time. God's time.

Of course you may make yourself pleasing to the Lord by praising Him and by interceding for others and yourself. And if someone wanders into your kitchen with all of this going on, true charity naturally requires dropping it all and being receptive to their hopes, desires, and needs.

I don't know exactly when the window sill above my kitchen sink became a shrine. It started off with a saint card here, a printed prayer card there, especially prayers I wanted to memorize like the Memorare or the Divine Praises or the Anima Christi. I've written out Bible verses and put them there so I could memorize them; in time, the ink usually drips with water splashes. There is the miniature tea set given to me by my best friend, and I think it serves to remind me of our many discussions over the years about what it means to be a daughter of the King and other feminine mysteries. Sometimes a statue of a saint but always a crucifix. Now there are some dried roses hanging upside down and suspended with silk ribbon.

And of course, when one steps back a foot or two from the sink, there is an ever-changing tableau of dishes that changes much like time-lapsed photography and with the position of the sun. An offering of clean dishes with the new day. Breakfast dishes and then lunch dishes that may or may not get cleaned up right away. But certainly a pile of pots and pans by sunset. And somebody - if you are lucky - hungering to find some peace and joy in your kitchen."

And from Very Calm is this lovely relection:

"I suppose most of us spend more time than we'd like at the kitchen sink but it happens that the view through the window beyond mine is quite pleasant...Time doing mundane chores is oftentimes a good time for ponderings. I noticed that the bluebirds, which apparently are somewhat used to seeing me on the other side of the window, happily enjoyed their breakfast (while i watch them), quite unruffled by my intent amusement.

Helen Steiner Rice's well-know poem came to mind, one I often prayerfully consider as I work:

God, teach me to be patient
Teach me to go slow
Teach me how to wait on you
When my way I do not know.
Teach me sweet forebearance
When things do not go right
So I remain unruffled
When others grow uptight.
Teach me how to quiet
My racing, rising heart
So I may hear the answer
You are trying to impart.
Teach me to let go dear God
And pray undisturbed until
My heart is filled with inner peace
And I learn to know you well!

-Helen Steiner Rice"

And them there's this precious poem that was hanging right by my grandmother's kitchen window growing up....and i'll bet in so many other kitchens as well:

"THE KITCHEN PRAYER
By Cecily Hallack or St Teresa

Lord of all pots and pans and things,
Since I've no time to be
A saint by doing lovely things or
Watching late with thee,
Or dreaming in the twilight or
Storming heaven's gates.
Make me a saint by getting meals or
Washing up the plates.

Although I must have Martha's hands,
I have Mary's mind, and,
When I black the boots and shoes
Thy sandals, Lord, I find.
I think of how they trod the earth
What time I scrub the floor,
Accept this meditation, Lord,
I haven't time for more.

Warm all the kitchen with thy love,
And light it with thy peace,
Forgive me all my worrying
And make all grumbling cease.
Thou who didst love to give men food
In room or by the sea
Accept this service that I do
I do it unto thee."

Gotta go, that cozy corner in the kitchen beckons. And i know to some that will sound odd indeed...but really, it does. After all, it's here at home, the miracle place...

(Image from the article All things Are Possible, and the second image is simply a close up of the church outside the kitchen window there, just love that)

A Musing Table: Of Deer Paths and Heart Prayers

Been really taken with the area of "heart prayers" lately. Others call them breath prayers. Came across this when following a little course on creating a rule of life awhile back (they call it a life rhythm, see here). From it:

"Discovering your breath prayer:

Begin by spending time in God’s presence, allowing yourself to settle into a place of comfort and intimacy, receptivity and restful repose.

Then imagine Jesus calling you by name and asking, “____________, what do you want?” ... Allow your truest answer to come up from your heart, and express this to God...

Work with the words or the phrase that comes until you feel that it captures your desire as truly as possible right now. This word or phrase will become the heart of your breath prayer.

Choose your favorite image or name for God as you are relating to him right now, such as God, Jesus, Father, Creator, Redeemer, Spirit, Breath of Life, Desire of the Nations, Lord, Shepherd—whatever best captures your sense of who God is to you at this point in your relationship. ...(and) combine your name for God with the expression of your heart’s desire. Place it where it is easiest to say in the rhythm of your breathing.

If various possibilities come, write them down and eliminate or combine until you have a prayer of about six to eight syllables that flows smoothly when spoken aloud and captures the core of your deep yearning for wholeness and well-being in Christ. Your breath prayer could be a phrase from a biblical prayer or Scripture passage. Just make sure it is short enough that it prays easily in the rhythm of your breathing.

Once you have chosen your breath prayer, pray it into the spaces of your day—when you are waiting in line or in traffic, when you are worried or anxious, when you are needing some sense of God’s presence. Over time, learn to pray it underneath all the other thoughts and words that swirl around you throughout your daily interactions. In times of solitude, pray this prayer as way of entering into silence and of bringing your mind back to your desire when it begins to wander. Use the breath prayer God has given you consistently until you feel this prayer no longer captures your deepest need or desire or until God gives you another one."


Our heart prayers can come simply in other ways too, like dreams. Many years ago i had this dream about "follow the path of the reindeer", and as funny as it may sound to others, remembering that phrase helps me, its been a kind of heart prayer. And this all came up again recently, since one of the most precious things about living here has been the deer. Tuesday was a challenging day (a toxic fieldday (toxic for those of us with EI) was had in a dentist office, long story). But in the morning i had seen a deer in the yard, and something about being around their gentleness kind of "held" me during the day and actually helped make the day quite special in the end. It’s the same deer little family that keeps visiting here, and yesterday they were down by the water, and then right outside the trailer, i was in the yard and they allowed me to get about 8-10 feet from them, it was such a moving experience! Gratefully goes in the heart's "treasure chest" : )

So i've been thinking more about deer lately. Two bible verses come to mind,

As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
--Psalm 42:1

The voice of my beloved! behold, he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills.

My beloved is like a roe or a young hart: behold, he standeth behind our wall, he looketh forth at the windows, shewing himself through the lattice.
--Song of Solomon 2:8-9

And another experience comes to mind, from last month. It was late at night and i heared a rustling outside, and then suddenly felt this amazing calm, it felt soooo nice...definitely not my usual reaction when there is a noise outside late at night! Found out later it was a deer, and i was just amazed at the huge calming effect they have. What is it that helps them calm so much?

Turned to my finace about this, he has lived with deer (and plenty of bears and eagles too) with his work in Alaska. And he ws explaining to me how they lived. What jumped out was their paths. They spend part of the year together but when the stags grow their antlers then they are separate a lot from the does, because of a need around paths.

For the doe (female) and also the young, they stay in more brushy and wooded areas for protection. And these paths, when they go up steep hills, wind like a ribbon rather than go up straight, to create a more gentle (if longer) climb.

But not so for the stags (males) when they have their antlers. They keep to the more exposed open areas, even though its more dangerous...otherwise their antlers would get tangled in the brush (funny how thats how they are created). And their paths uphill go straight up steeply and quickly, rather than gently ribbon like the doe paths do.

Something about this, about the heroic exposure of those stag paths and the higher protection of those doe paths, that lovely maleness and femaleness felt there, moves me. But its more, its also that deer really do like to stay on their paths, on their old paths carved through the generations, even more so than many other animals. Its like that original (as opposed to its later abuse) "scribe" feeling, of lovingly following and beautifying rather than trying to reinvent the wheel.

And then there is the deer’s gentleness, the feeling with which they walk their path. Now i'm not talking about the stags in heat (things are far from gentle then, they are like a knight in battle in their own way, God love 'em). But the gentleness during many other times with the stag, or during most all times with the doe. Truly, this is just such a moving thing, and being around it has such an effect. Its part of their "path", and in their soft eyes, their tender movements. And the paths we follow have such a huge effect, understatement. More and more, i am finding myself less concerned with things like petty denominations and more concerned with a woman's walk leading to a "meek and quiet spirit" somehow. Those gentle does and their paths, they are sure there with bells on. And deer are part of our Christmas traditions to boot, through the lovely Yule traditions of the Nordic lands. I get the feeling, and its such a nice feeling, that deer understand the true magic of life. A magical sense of life born out of the trust and joy of knowing we are cherished, and of simply and gently following. Following those ancient, softly beckoning paths in the wood....

(First image adapted from The Home Realm, second one from The Northern Lights Route)