A Healing Table: Simplicity and Limits

A real part of simplicity seems to be about getting more down to basics and more "hands on" and direct with things. This brings not only more frugality but more satisfaction and con-tent-ment, its such a core thing really. But some of us have some rather large challenges there, like having very real physical limits to our ability and strength and energy...and yet we still long to get more down to basics in ways we can. Myself i have a chronic nerve/spinal/arm injury, as well as environmental illness (also called chemical sensitivity, more specifically MCS). Others may have different limits. So for what its worth, thought i'd share what has helped me in this area. This started as a single post (another one of those "list of ten" simplicity posts), but got way too long. So i'm dividing it into a little ten part series, this post being part one. (The full series can be seen here)

1. Being Simple From the Beginning

Variety, we've all heared, is the spice of life. But this has to be taken in context. Last time i checked, it didnt feel like a grand idea to sit down to a plate of spice. A spice, instead is something used as an accent, not the foundation. And when living with pain and limits, i personally think the foundation should be....simple. Very very simple.

Our tendency today, when faced with a problem, is to focus on what to add to our life to help it (is there a pill we can take we ask , or an activity we can do, or a thing we can buy, dot dot dot?). And sometimes going that route can bring real blessings. But there isnt always a solution in that vein....modern medicine is only helpful for some conditions for example, and buying and doing also arent always a solution. What's more, we tend to forget that focusing on what to take away can help things just as much really, and is just as important.

Having less stuff is part of this, at least i have found this to be the case. Not only owning less items but also having less ingredients needed to cook with and stock up with and the like. This makes a true difference i have found in making things not only easier but more soothing and peaceful. Ditto for having less "stuff to do". Often when we have pain and limits, we sadly have to give up doing so many of the the things we really love and enjoy. So those few things we love that are still do-able are very important, and go on the "to do" list i think. Likewise, there are other things we also truly need to do, like things connnected with family and home and faith, and these sure go there too. But discernment is just so critical! When looking at something i try and ask myself if this is something i either truly love, or truly need, to do. Asking if we truly need to do something especially, it is surprising what can be left behind.

The key i think, is simply to never assume something (aside from Scripture, and our true duties) is simply a "'given" that we must do. We dont need for example, to do laundry everyday, either for ourselves or our families. Clothes can be hung up between wearings to air and be reworn till actually dirty, rather than mindlessly tossed in a pile making us run the laundry machine all the time.

There are many other examples like this, things that will be different for all of us. We each just really need to discern, especially when living with pain, what we truly love, and truly need to do. And that's a pretty important part of our foundation i think....

(Image from Home Arts Magazine, from here)

A Healing Table: Rethinking Proverbs 31

(Part two in a series on finding simplicity when living with chronic pain/limits; the full series can be found here)

Proverbs 31 isnt the only model for Biblical Womanhood, we also have models through the lovely Lady Wisdom of Proverbs 8 for example, who "was daily his delight, rejoicing always before him". That's really important to remember i think, that thinking only in terms of tangible productivity should not be our only lens. But with the Proverbs 31 model, even this can be seen with a far deeper understanding than is usually given it, such as Glenys Robyn Hicks 's wonderful exploring (see here and here).

And one part of Proverbs 31 is that of having "servants". Many have interpreted that to mean machines in today's times (in other words, our typical household appliances) . But especially once the chronic limits hit, i have had to rethink this. I have found that the less stimulation there is around me, the easier it is to handle the pain of my condition. I know machines are supposed to make things easier, and sometimes they truly do...the heater, the stovetop, the toaster oven, the refridgerator etc. But for many other appliances i have found they can actually make things harder. There is the noise, and there is the clutter...both of those things add to stress significantly i find, and then that makes other things in life just that much harder to handle.

Its a matter of discerning i suppose. To me the best things as "servants" are those that are passive and quiet. For example, in trying to find solutions to the summer heat here, the best option so far has been to unseal the roof vents and repair them (they had been sealed closed against rain leaks this winter until we'd be able to repair them later....oh those costly repairs, one of the not so charming things about living in a charming vintage trailer) . Something like a vent is silent (no machines, unless i choose to turn on its fan sometimes)....the heat rises and goes out passively. So that's just one example. Been learning to ask myself, before getting (or even making) something, if there is a quieter and less mechanical or more passive way to meet the same purpose. Often there is....and approaching things that way, i've found it really does help in making home more peaceful... which in turn lowers stress, which in turns helps when one is living with pain.

And even with ergonomics, some machines can make things ironically harder, so thats another thing to watch. For example it can be a nightmare to use a dishwasher if one has a very serious spinal injury (three guesses how i found this out), all that pulling and bending. As physically demanding as handwashing all one's dishes can be, i have found its actually still easier my body (not to mention spirit!) than using a dishwasher. So another question i ask in finding my "servants" is: is there an easier way on my body than this? And every body, of course, is different, and may find different things easier/harder upon it.

This discerning effects not only machines but things like furniture, or placement of things. Stuff like this is going to affect a person everyday, and it makes a huge difference to simply pay attention to how a piece of furniture, or its placement, supports your body or doesnt, and to change things there accordingly. What having "servants" really means i think, is having support. And we can create this in quiet passive ways, such as paying attention to simple things like this. Another biggie is watching where things are kept or stored, paying attention to how easy/hard it is on your body to access or use these things, and then moving them accordingly. Seems like a little thing to put things in easier to use places, but it has a big effect...

(Image from Making of a Homemaker)

A Healing Table: Embracing Help

(Part three in a series on finding simplicity when living with chronic pain/limits; the full series can be found here)

Of course there is more to support than this "stuff" in the last post. Helping our stuff to be simpler and more supportive, and changing our appoaches to things (learning new ways of doing things etc), and re-prioritizing, and adapting our schedules etc, and all of that....well it does help. And to be less burdensome on others most will try and go that route when we can. But we all need help from each other sometimes, from an actual person, its just part of being human. The other day i came accross this qoute, which expresses it far better than i ever could, from Tomato Soup Cake:

But here's something I never would have suspected: humbly accepting help can be a joyous thing. The reality is that we are all vulnerable, we all have our needy moments.... God has designed us that way. He wants us to be dependent on each other...He wants us to be real.

It was good for me to be afflicted
so that I might learn your decrees.
The law from your mouth is more precious to me
than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.
Psalm 119:71,72

And this is true tenfold when one is living with chronic limits and pain...we should simply accept that rather than judge ourselves. Its also important though i think, to make it easier for folks to give that help, when we can. For example, one of my limits is with chopping things. So what i've learned to do is plan ahead there to what will need to be chopped for the week. I have a hard time especially with things like carrots and potatoes etc, so when my fiance is here he will chop them up for me ahead of time and then they can be stored in storage containers with water, in the fridge.... or even frozen. Then there they are, ready for soups and the like (if making soup use the water as part of the broth, or use it as cooking water in something else as its vitamin rich). Even onion and garlic can be chopped ahead this way...just store them in glass jars so it keeps in the scent (if they are in the fridge that is...if they are frozen i'm guessing its better to put them in plastic containers then wrap that well in foil).

The point is simply this: It's far easier for someone to help out with things like this if we try to simplify and also plan ahead to what we'll need. Then the help can be given all at once in bulk once a week or less for example, and at whatever time is convenient for them...rather than help needed more frequently (and "at that moment") becuase things have been unplanned. And by planning i dont mean anything complicated. In this chopping example for instance, its about just knowing what basics you need to have on hand on a regular basis (the chopped potatoes, carrots, onion, etc etc), that's the planning part; and then also cooking more simply to begin with so you wont need an abundance of things needing to be cut. Well, more on that stuff in the cooking posts whenever that happens.

Another example is help in cleaning....The limits there are some of the most frustrating ones. Becuase cleaning, its this primal thing i think, part of our longing for order and beauty. So to come to a chore your body just can't do, its really frustrating. But these hard to do chores can go on a special list at least, so that you can turn to it to know just what to ask for when help is offered. That can work pretty well.

Not everything can be planned of course, life happens, and sometimes we truly do need help "right then". But planning the things we can, and simplfying what we can, it really does seem to make it far easier on those who care enough to help.

(Image from Gode Cookery)

A Healing Table: "Plan A , B, and C"

(Part four in a series on finding simplicity when living with chronic pain/limits; the full series can be found here)

This multiple plan idea that was inspired by sweet Sabine some time back...and it's worked out really well. The idea is to have different versions of things when possible. For example, take quiche (recipe in a previous post). I find its cheaper, and a nice change too, to have diced potatoes and the harder type veggies in a quiche...so thats plan a, the plan that help would be needed with (for the chopping). But when there is no help i turn to a plan b instead, like was in the recipe shared...using frozen corn rather than the diced fresh potatoes, and using softer veggies that i can handle chopping, like tomatoes, mushrooms, zuchhini etc. Then there are the times when i am in the middle of a serious flare up and also there is no help. Then, quite frankly, not much cooking happens, and its plan c....turning to anything thats been made ahead of time for the future, like frozen soup portions etc; or eating more non-cook stuff , such as: hummus or bean puree on sourdough toast (even yummier if can put some fresh herbs on it), cornbread with cultured milk, yogurt with some banana and/or unsweetened cocoa powder, fruit with cheese or nuts, salads and the like.

If doing some cooking during the better moments during a flare up, i try and choose things that can be eaten cold or room temp if needed, things like quiche, some soups, some cassaroles. That may not sound appetizing to some, i know. But the reason is that not having to heat things up means less dishes and clean up, which can be pretty important when your pain level is high. For that hot nourished feeling, one can still have some nice hot tea along with the meal....i find that really helps.

To me this "plan c" type stuff also applies in the very hottest days of summer...whether the pain is flared up or not. Heat wave days are just not the time to cook...unless you have nice cooled down evenings to cook in, or a not too hot climate.

(Image from Gode Cookery)

A Healing Table: Simplicity and the Kitchen Sink

(Part five in a series on finding simplicity when living with chronic pain/limits; the full series can be found here)

The kitchen sink is a place a homemaker spends so much of her time, so its pretty important i feel. There's the spiritual side of this, like the comfort of creating a nice "kitchen sink shrine" there (gone into here). That part is core i feel, our spirits need things like this...and even more so when we are in pain.

Then there's the practical side. Basically, if something on your sink (or anywhere really) isnt adding to making a cheerful prayerful place for you to work at, or truly needed, i find its best to let it go. And to be dilgient about it. Truly, its worth it... an uncluttered sink makes things SO much easier. And so many little things usually can go.

Do we really need for example measuring cups and spoons out? Might it be easier and far less cluttery to find out how much the spoons and cups we already usually have out (becuase you use them for meals) hold, and use them to measure with instead? Things like that sound silly, but they have really helped in cutting down on the clutter. Likewise things like paper towels can be eliminated (use a dishcloth instead, or have a small roll of tp in a subtle place for when something paper is really needed). And the only cleanser that is really needed, for both dishes and hands and counter wiping/general cleaning and the like, is a simple bar of natural soap (i use Dr Bronners) in a little plastic (safer than glass) soapdish. We went for generations without different special cleansers for everything, let alone liquid soaps. Seriously, a simple bar does the job beautifully, and definitely cuts down on the sink clutter... not to mention the cost.

For extra cleaning power when needed, a small clear squirt bottle can be filled with vinegar and a small clear plastic jar with baking soda. Simple basic things like this stuff can easily be added to the scene, with the sink still left soothing and uncluttered. And also, none of these things leave an icky residue on your dishes either that need to be rinsed forever and a day....in fact, all of these things are safely injestible when it comes down to it (even the soap, if its the Dr Bronners or similar, which is made solely from purely natural ingredients; some even use it to brush their teeth with).

The truth is, what we touch or breathe in effects us just as much as when we injest it. From here, " There is no barrier between the brain and the chemicals that you breathe in…. Studies have shown that inhaling fragrance chemicals can cause circulatory changes in the brain. Changes in electrical activity in the brain also occur with exposure...What’s more, our skin is the largest body organ that soaks up toxins into its system." Using simple basic real things, including even on the sink and the like, it has been a necessity in my life i have to admit, becuase of my EI/chemical sensitivity. But even if this werent a factor, it makes a true difference i feel in things being more nourishing and peaceful.

Then there is ergonomics at the sink. I find using a cushioned floor mat really helps...though there's no need to have to buy the ones in the store made for that purpose...you know, the pricey ones with their busy distracting designs on them. Instead a simple impact reducing exersize mat can be cut down to size, leaving you with several mats to put at places you need them (or even doubled for extra softness). Then each mat can be covered with a nice pillowcase in a color that matches your home (folded and pinned underneath to make it snug and smooth). These mats are not only cheaper, but will last longer as the exercise mats tend to be of better quaility than the household aisle ones. And they can stay clean looking rather than quickly getting tattered, since you can wash the pillowcases, or later replace them if needed.

Then there is the area of and sponges and scrubbers. Something so "normal" as a dish sponge can be an ergonomic nightmare with the firm grip they demand, not to mention hard to keep clean. Its so much easier i think, and less sink cluttering too, to just use a small dishcloth (you can cut your own out of material/color of choice) that can be draped over the faucet or sink wall when not in use. These can be used with far less grip and strain, and are also easier to to keep clean i've found. Another small cloth can be there as well, for household cleaning. I tend to also have a third, kind of off to the side, for using on "grungy" stuff only.

And also, sometimes its easier to skip the cloth even. I know that must sound so odd, but at times when pain makes you need to do things one handed, its easiest i find to swipe your hand accross the soap bar and just wash the dish with your hand, since this way it can be done one handed. Hey, painful times call for creative measures sometimes : )

For scrubbing, the scrubber sponges likewise are pretty hard to use i think. The best thing i have found is the tiny little flat scrubbers that are homemade (crocheted with scrubby material) and sold at craft fairs.

(Image from Simply Catholic. There is a lovely window reflection at this link as well)

Postscript: As if this post wasnt long enough lol, but i just have to add this. Both the qoute and the image below are from Holy Experience:

"She hadn’t heard of the building permit till she had washed three weeks of meals at that sink. I was there the day the man who applied for the permit walked by, met her on the driveway, mentioned that he was going to build a shed behind her, cutting off that green skirt.

I stood in the doorway, leaned hard against the jam. Mama managed words, something about living 30 years on the farm and that view making the move to town manageable. Choked out that she wouldn’t have come if it weren’t for those fields comforting, calling.

“Money can’t buy a view.” Mr. Perkin shrugged his shoulders, turned toward the neighbor’s door and the next breaking of the news.

Wasn’t long before the neighbors passed a petition. Mama decided instead to bring cookies, flowers, to the elderly Mr.Perkin and his wife, offering her best wishes. She stayed while they showed her the plans, nodding, smiling.

She sat through the hearings at town council, and the appeal to the provincial level, the briefings of how Mr. Perkin could build in three other locations on his land at the other end of the street without interfering the view of any of the neighbors, how no other property owners had implement sheds for RVs on their lots, how Mr. Perkin had sold these lots twenty years ago with the promise he would never build behind the owners. Things change, and so does a man’s word.

The next door neighbors went west for weeks, right after the hammering began. Watching those stud walls slowly go up in front of the windows and brick up over land and trees and sky smothered. They beat a (temporary) escape.

I wasn’t expecting what I saw when I drove in sometime last week, came directly around the back of Mama’s house, wanting to see if any frayed green still clung.

Within steps of the property line, an eight foot grey fabric vapor barrier sheared off 30 feet of verdant life that just last week rolled from here down to the river and away the other side. The asphalt roof poked another 15 feet into the blue. I raised a hand, wanting to brush it all way, shake out leaves and blade and emeralds growing. I grieved for Mama.

I found her in the kitchen, at the sink. I’m not sure what to say. “Well, Mama...” She turns. “I’m sorry… I saw it, and I’m sorry. ” I’m searching her eyes.

Mama smiles, grabs my hand, and pulls me towards her and the kitchen window.

“See?” She’s beaming. I look out the window, confused. From in here, looking out the kitchen window, I don’t see a barricade clipping off life. The only view’s out on a blooming profusion of pink fuchsias.

She's giddy. “I can’t take away the shed. But I can choose my own view! Why look at a wall when I could choose flowers?” She laughs, radiant...."

WOW.




There really is something so core about our kitchen window, and our inner windows too. Its funny, when i move from a place, i 've started taking a picture of the view from the kitchen window, becuase i know that's the view i will remember most from the place. And i wonder...will it be the same when we leave our earthly home? Will it be the views from the "window" we remember most? How much more vital it is then, to simplify, to beautify, and most importantly to make more prayerful our "view"...

A Healing Table: Simplicity and the Stove

(Part six in a series on finding simplicity when living with chronic pain/limits; the full series can be found here)

I've found that using the stove in a "normal" way doesnt have to be a given. There are some pretty odd sounding things i find helpful (more like necessary) on reglular basis there. One is sliding pots full of food rather than lifting them. This can be done by having next to the pot a stack of heavy pot holders (i use the thick coiled circle kind) up to the level of the pot bottom, and another stack next to that on the counter. Then you can slide the pot from the burner to the first pot holder stack, and then slide it from there to the second stack, and then slide it all along the counter to where you need it. Or if your counter is level with the stovetop, then you will only need one stack vs two. I kind of roll the pot a little on its side as i slide it over to the potholder stacks, makes it move easier.

And when draining water from the pot or getting the food out, a cup can be dipped in several times for doing this, rather than lifting the pot to pour things out. Another thing helpful is to use a toaster oven rather than the regular oven on the stove. With a toaster oven you can put it at the right ergonomic height (unlike the painful, and for some of us impossible, position of the oven). And the door to a toaster oven is far lighter and easier to use. And since i need to keep lifting light anyway, i know i wouldnt be cooking anything larger than what would fit in a toaster oven at any rate. Its also more energy efficient.

Stoves are so important, are practically our modern hearths. And there is something just so archetypal about standing at the stove stirring the soup for example.... I love when i can do this and truly miss it when i can't. But limits do happen, even here. And so when flared up i will sometimes, instead of using the stove itself, make a mini ergonomic version by putting a small single burner at the table so i can sit down while cooking and stirring. Its sure not as fun, but its sometimes needed becuase during a flare up it is far less painful this way.

Ditto, by the way, for doing other stages of food prep in this sitting-at-the-table-way. And even dishes can be done this way when needed (using towels or dishcloths with vinegar as the cleanser, which doesnt need rinsing....with dishes and cooking being kept to a real minimim then of course). The stove, the counter, the sink, they are all such central archetypal places that i miss so much when i cannot use them...but sometimes it happens. I guess we just do what we have to do even if it looks a little wierd. What really matters isnt how it looks, but that we can still keep the joy of caring for our homes and those we love in the ways we can : )

(Image from a magnet, can be seen here)

A Healing Table: Little Details....Big Impact

(Part seven in a series on finding simplicity when living with chronic pain/limits; the full series can be found here)

Truly, little things can be big. Paying attention to the weight of things for example, like dishes and pots for instance, is important. After all, you will be using these things each day, lifting them in cooking and carrying and washing.... the impact adds up. Stainless steel pots can be found that are relatively light. And for dishes, even glassware can be of a lighter sort (even vintage ones).

Its not only about cooking items, but also various other things around the house....choosing things that will be easy to lift and use whereever we can. Likewise for paying attention to smoothness etc, seeing that things will open and close easily and the like. Little details like this have a big impact, since we use our household things (utensils, furniture etc) over and over again each day.

An exception there is the mixing bowl i think ...a heavier mixing bowl (Hall's etc) is easier to use becuase it stays in place better (not to mention it just "feels" 'better). When things stay in place better there is less strain on the body becuase you don't need to grip it to keep it in place as you are using it. The trick when getting a heavier item like this though is getting them relatively small (the smallest size practical for you), so that their heaviness does not become a greater burden than it has to be. I do find something like a heavier mixing bowl is worth it. It is one item, one that is lifted occasionally....unlike the multiple items above which are lifted so often throughout the day and whose impact really adds up.

When using a lighter bowl etc though, something that helps to keep it steady is to crumble up a wet dishcloth underneath it, it keeps it from sliding so much. But its better, i find, to avoid light bowls altogether and mix things in either the heavier type bowl....or a small frying pan. I know that sounds silly, but it works well becuase the frying pan is flat and less likely to slide. What i usually do is mix up the dry ingredients in the little Hall's bowl, then put the wet ingredients in the frying pan to mix, then pour the wet into the dry and mix it all in the Hall's. There is a method that skips dishes altogether when mixing, by using a baggie, but that is in the next post.

Then there is "technique" type stuff. When mixing the dry ingredients, rather than using a sifter i find its easier on the body to just smooth and stir things with a wooden spoon in order to mix it well. When mixing the wet stuff, it helps to focus on mixing with the spoon moving more horizontally focused than vertically focused, seems to be easier on the muscles to mix liquid this way. It also helps, when mixing eggs, to gently smoosh down the yolks first, then then they need less mixing. And when the wet and dry are combined and you are mixing the batter etc now, then i find its easier in that case to go more vertical and kind of poke the batter up and down or slide it around for many of the strokes.... rather than always stirring by circling it which is harder on the shoulder. Doing it this way it will still need some circle strokes probably, but not nearly as many.

And with the area of aprons (and what kitchen is complete without an apron, smile), they can be easier (make that finally even possible) to tie if one brings the strings over to the side and ties the bow on the side reather than in the back.

Well... those are some of the "little things" that i have found make a big difference : )

(Image source unknown)

A Healing Table: Hidden Tools in the Kitchen

(Part eight in a series on finding simplicity when living with chronic pain/limits; the full series can be found here)

One of my limits is i can't do too many dishes when flared up....and can't do heavy scrubbing ever really. So though i'm longing to get more and more away from disposable stuff, the reality is there are some disposable things that are just lifesavers. One is foil and parchment paper to use in baking and reheating...no pan or oven to clean. Foil can also be used for some food storage, like keeping celery fresh longer. Another real help is baggies to use in most any kind of food storage or in mixing and kneading. I turn to the baggies more just when flared up, but since i never know when that will be, they are always on hand. Using baggies as food storage means less dishes to wash when your pain is high.

And though i love using my mixing bowl so much, when really flared up its not an option, and its a lifesaver then to be able to put the eggs or batter or whatever it is into a sealed baggie and mix or knead through that instead. The whole thing can be laid on the counter and the mixing then done fully with one arm, not needing any pressure or support from the other arm. When one side of the body is in real pain, this truly helps.

(Image source unknown)

A Healing Table: Keeping Perspective

(Part nine in a series on finding simplicity when living with chronic pain/limits; the full series can be found here)

This one is a repeat from a previous simplicity list, but here goes:

Just like our needs are given to us for a reason, i feel our true limits are as well. It would be insane for example for me to pretend i wasnt physically limited in what i can do since i aquired this chronic spinal and nerve injury and the chemical sensitity. Its a true limit. And just as i feel we can trust our needs, so too we can trust our true limits. Our limits are not some kind of sin to judge, but rather they were given to us by Our Lord i feel, for whatever good reason. Finding out what we really can do with those limits is important. But what we can't do, we need to accept. And help that is needed, we need to accept that too. Simplicity to me is not about being tough and stand alone, but about being realistic about both what you need and what you can on the other hand share with others. Limits, like needs, are sacred things really.

And its not just obvious physical limits but more subtle inner ones too. In my life some of those inner limits are time and stimulus for example. A busy schedule or chaotic envoronment is truly not something i can live with, and so it definitely means saying no to a great many things. And it is a true limit... ive tried both busyness and living with noise and clutter etc and my health and peace of mind just plummet at the speed of light when i do, its a very strong thing. So i trust that i was given those limits for whatever good reason by Him. And we all it seems have limits like this,whatever they may be. Limits that are gifts He gives i feel, to lead us on the path He wants us on. Which is, of course, the whole point : )

(Image from He Gently Calls Us)

A Healing Table: Allowing....Time

(Part ten in a series on finding simplicity when living with chronic pain/limits; the full series can be found here)

Last but not least in this area of simplcity with limits....there is the area of time. As in, having enough of it. Thats something that's important for everyone, but especially important when one lives with limits and pain. When we take our time, we are able to "hear" the needs of our body better and so do things more gently, and more ergonomically as well. This has a huge impact in minimizing flare ups...and conversely when we rush or push we maximize them really.

But its more than this too, it even affects what solutions we can find to get through the day. I think sharing the solutions we have found with each other like this, it truly does help. And that is how some of the ideas used everyday were found...what a blessing! But honestly, many other of the things shared here were found only becuase i allowed myself the time to let them be discovered hands on as i was simply going about things over time. It was becuase there was the time to notice problems, to put them on the back burner to ponder, and often eventually a solution would present itself. And this happens often not becuase of something we ourselves "do", but rather simply becuase we give ourselves the time and space to listen, listen to the Spirit. We all need this, so much! No two people are going to need the same exact set of solutions. And so while we can find some by sharing with each other, other solutions will need to be Spirit led...and that needs a quiet life, and time to listen. And that applies of course, to all areas of our life really.

It is the nature, too, of keeping at home, to need to have.... time. A homemaker i feel, needs to have real time to listen, to really notice things...as the norm to our days, not the brief accent there. That is a real part of how a house becomes a home, and a real part of nurturing those we love, and even part of healing (responding to pain immediately rather than "later" is so critical in home medicine). It often really takes a spacious (rather than rushed or packed) sense of time in order to be femininely receptive i think.

And long before the bizzare notions of superficial "schedules", i suspect this is how our practical things got done at home too. A woman notices what needs to happen in the home as she goes about her day. Sometimes she makes a mental note and comes back to it, but often she simply does it then as it presents itself. That, anyway, is how i picture homelife for many of our ancestors. It is only our wounded and rushed sense of time i feel, that doesnt allow us to stop and do things needing to be done simply as they present themselves. We try to compress too much into our time rather than letting it simply be spacious and sacred as its given to us...a spaciousness and sacredness that allows us to listen, to be receptive, to respond. And so then we come to having to "schedule" things instead, rather than simply being present and receptive and getting things done that way. To me, that's a neon sign saying that something is very wrong, that time must become more spacious again. And this applies tenfold to those of us living with chronic pain and limits. Time means listening. Time means opening. Time means... healing....

(Image by Hans Thama)

A Simple Table: Quiche at the Pace of Hen

Sabine of Sunshine and Shadow is begining a new series that explores ideas for living well with chronic pain/illness. Her first gathering is on cooking, a gathering of recipes from readers (hey, that's us, smile) that follow this acronym:

Delicious
Inexpensive
Nutritious
Easy to make

To see all the recipes as they gather, or add one yourself, please see Sabine's post here. My recipe for the gathering is below, adapted for my spinal injury which limits chopping and the like...perhaps it will be of use to others. At any rate, this is fun doing this : ) Thought i'd share a egg/quiche recipe not only becuase its easy but becuase the hen is rather inspiring for those of us with limits i think.....a hen may seem to be "fruitlessly" going in circles but a lot is going on unseen in deeper creativity when one takes a closer look. So it can also be with those with limits...just becuase our lives look less productive doesnt neccesarily mean there isnt more going on in other ways than meets the eye. A favorite link on "the pace of a hen" is here.

SIMPLE QUICHE:

(a little preface: if i have help chopping then i may add "harder" things, like fresh potatoes instead of the frozen corn, and the harder to cut type veggies. But here's the easy version... )

--Line a pan with parchment paper (some may want grease the pan with butter instead; i use the parchment paper in the case of quiche becuase i find the butter makes it too rich).

--Fill the pan with a nice thick layer of FROZEN CORN. Add fresh soft type VEGGIES of choice (after slicing of course)---such as mushrooms, tomatoes, bell peppers, zucchini, whatever is on hand and soft and easy to cut. Optionally, put in some fresh herbs too (basil is soooo good, especially with tomatoes). Sprinkle it all with either shredded CHEESE or parmesean cheese.

--The pan usually gets at least half full with this stuff, but i dont think more or less really matters much, the egg mix seems to seek out all the little crevices there and get in.

--Now the egg mix...use SPICE of choice (i tend to use Italian, or sometimes nutmeg), EGGS, and some sort of MILKY thing (can use milk, buttermilk, yogurt, sour creme, or combinations of). How much depends on the size of your pan and your taste...i tend to use about a tablespoon of spice, 6-8 eggs, and a cup of milky stuff.

--Its most fun to mix it in a bowl, but when flared up i use the baggie trick, which can be done one handed (and with no bowl to wash): break the eggs right into a baggie, add the rest, seal the baggie, leave it right there lying flat on the counter, and mix things around using your "good arm". (This works well for kneading too.)

Add the egg mix to the pan, bake at 325 till knife comes out clean when tested. Yummm : ) And if you used the parchment paper and the baggie trick, then there is zero clean up (well, except wiping off your cutting board that was used to slice the veggies).

Sabine's new series on living with chronic pain/illness, as well as Susan's (High Desert Home) recent simplicity series, has really inspired focusing on the "practical" stuff lately. Planning to post more this week on ideas for cooking, and simple living, when one has pain/limits (well, i hope to anyway). For now, the older stuff in the simplicity vein is here and here. Now off to Sabine's : ) ...

(Image sources unknown)

A Sabbath Table: The Magic of Ordinary Days

Was kind of an intense day today, going around mega insulating against scary little critters (see last post). Ticks, deer flies, fleas, very determined wasps, critters are in abundance and everywhere....seriously i've never seen so many insects before. And that doesnt even count the zillions of spiders i see everywhere, or the skeeters.....or the rattle snakes that are in this area (luckily have not seen one yet, thank you Lord). The locals tell me this is just an especially bad year here for insects, since the winter was so mild that it didnt check their populations like winter is supposed to. Hello global warming. I'm not longing for the city again, not by a longshot. In fact i still long for deeper yet wilderness. But ive had a very hard time with this insect party zone thing.

So today my Prince was outside insulating the place. And i was doing stuff in here, had been going at it since i got up. Early afternnoon he calls in the door..."So what's for lunch?".

Lunch? I hadnt even eaten breakfast, had just been grazing while standing up doing stuff because things felt so pressing. And had given him snacks for out there too, assuming he'd just do the same. I thought...."Lunch? We have so much to do here to get this place more bug proof, needing to have done it like yesterday....who cares about something like lunch?" But that wasnt said out loud, instead to make him happy i just started to make something. And was surprised at how happy it made me too...not sure why i'm always surprised when this happens. But when i am stressed and rushing and its the worst time in the world to stop and make something...somehow doing it anyway is what calms me down so much. The simple act of making a little cassarole, the making of it in itself, the mixing things, even doing the dishes...let alone the having a decent lunch, somehow made a rather stressful day so much calmer. I'm still not sure why i'm always surprised when this happens...my head knows it will. But my body, so caught up in the stress and trying to get something done i'm focused on...my body gets surprised every time.

The phrase "the magic of ordinary days" is what comes to mind. The ordinary mundane stuff...it still keeps amazing me how it's what seems to hold the healing perhaps most of all, for everyone in the house really. Am reminded of a favorite post, The Healing Hand of Home, from Lynn of All Things Bright and Beautiful:

"I got the call we all dread "I've had a bump in the car". I could hear the traffic racing by as my son stood chatting to me on the hard shoulder (emergency lane on the motorway). "No-one's hurt." I sighed a huge sigh of relief...

I made supper as usual, I tidied the kitchen as usual, I put laundry away as usual, I set the fire as usual. Then with my jobs finished I sat before the fire in a dark room & took stock ...I pondered on how, throughout the trials of the day, I had continued to be the keeper of my home & that had got me through. After the bad stuff, my family had come home. And yes, corny/cheesy or not we had all experienced the healing hand of home.

The rhythm of creating order at home had given me peace & calm which could later be enjoyed by the other members of the family. I use the word rhythm in preference to "routine" which for many sums up boredom & chores but to me routine is restorative.

Another of life's lessons learnt?
No matter what is happening outside this house, no matter how crazy the world becomes; what happens within the four walls of my home will set standards, traditions & peace that can be taken forward in our lives....

(Now) today I am home alone in a quiet house. Hopefully the day will be totally uneventful and I will do what I normally do as usual. But in the quiet solitude I am very aware of the healing hand of my home."

The magic of ordinary days. Big time. By the way the movie by that title (such a good movie!) is here. Well worth watching : )

And it's funny... i always think of the Sabbath as such a precious gift we are given...even if i'm still far below the mark in keeping the Sabbath as it should be (slowly working on this). But our "ordinary time", the preciousness of that too, the joy there, the GIFT....well the gift there seems to hit most of all as the Sabbath approaches and we are about to leave ordinary time behind for a bit. Or ideally leave it behind anyway...in my life entering Sabbath fully needs some deepening for sure.

Well, Good Shabbas All,
And a Very Blessed Sabbath...
And Happy 4th of July too : )

Inserted later: So far no wasps inside, happy happy dance : ) The nest building may have been halted by the seal off....but deeper still by His protection. Thank you thank you God for protecting here! : )

(Bottom image from here, top image unknown)

A Simple Table: Peacefulness through Releasing Clutter

Having fun with simplicity lists lately, so here's another. I really think there are practical little things we can do to cut down on inner and outer clutter, and though thats not the only thing helping with peacefulness, it's still an important layer there i feel. Don't know if it will be of use to anyone or not, but its been fun to gather...

1. Sacred vs Profane

Doubt and worry are exhausting, and scatter us so much inside. And one of the surest ways to declutter the heart (among other things!) is to open to trust and to deepen one's faith. I know, kind of a no brainer there : )

2. Time vs Noise and Clutter

Having a bunch of appliances and machines is not only clutter for the eyes but bombardment for the ears as well. It takes more of one's time to use less machines, but the reward in peacefulness is rich. A favorite article on this is here.

3. Embellishing vs Decorating

For our more ancient ancestors, seems beautifying wasnt about decorating so much as about embellishing....and i think they were really onto something there. Decorating is about frilly "extra" stuff that doesnt stand alone or serve any other purpose...knick knacks, a bunch of pictures on the wall, decorative pillows etc. To me this brings clutter and chaos, not peacefulness. Embellishing is far different. It is about taking the items you actually use each day, and making them more beautiful in themselves. Such as putting nice but subtle embroidary (or whatever is liked) on your tablecloth or dishtowel or bedspread and the like, having nice looking/feeling cooking utensils and dishes and furniture, etc. Or getting creative in beautifying other things used each day, like the covers or insides of favorite books and the like. Embellishment like this, on the essential things we actually use, i think it brings richness in a very nice sense of the world, instead of extra stuff as clutter.

4. Cherishing vs Displaying

Special momentos are so important... our memories, our ideals. And those momentos that are in the form of things we use each day (just love those!) its wonderful to have out of course. But for the rest, they dont need to be used as stand alone "decorations" to clutter a home. There is instead the classic idea of using a hope chest for example, or the modern equivalent of drawyers ear-marked for the purpose. And for pictures etc there are scrapbooks of course. But also, what i really enjoy is lining the inside of closet doors and cupboards with special pictures. It makes me smile when i open up the doors in the course of the day and then see them....and yet at the same time the home stays peaceful and uncluttered.

The last thought there, that of incorporating momentos into things you use each day instead of using them as seperate cluttering decorations....i'm sure there are just a million other ways to do this. One could put special momentos inside favorite book covers, on the lids of one's pantry jars, or...i'm sure there are many more ideas. The point is just to naturally incorporate things into the things you use, rather than clutter the home with "decorating". If folks have any ideas there i'd so love to hear them! And any peaceful simplifying ideas really : )

5. Polished vs Collected

Personally, i think only two things belong in a home....what we truly need, and what we truly love. And i mean truly need or love. I'd much rather care for a few things so they are loved and made to "shine", rather than collect a bunch of things to gather dust and add chaos. A home that is simple enough to shine, it really does helps bring peace i feel.

6. Small vs Large

In one sense, its a myth that smaller homes are easy to care for. Sure, there is less space to clean, but everything is closer together and more visible all at once.... so things have to be cleaned much more often and immediately, its a constant thing. In a small space for example, one little item left out will stick out like a sore thumb, and so will a little spot or a bit of dust. And you sure can't spread out a project and leave it there and just close the door on the room for example either....instead, there it is, right in front of you, and if its not cleaned up its instant clutter. So keeping things clean is constant, far more constant than it has to be in a larger home.

Yet, in spite of that, it IS easier to care for a small space surprisingly. Much easier. And that is because of less mind clutter. Though the work is more constant in a smaller space, yet it blends in with natural motions of your day, by cleaning as you go. It is natural and automatic (rather than mind cluttering) becuase you are ~in~ your whole home when you are there... not just in parts of it at different times of the day. This does something to a person i think, draws your energy into one place rather than being spread about so much, centers a person. And this too i feel is a large part of decluttering.

7. Wash vs Waste

I know this may sound counter intuitive, but using cloth for things vs paper products (ie instead of kleenex, toilet paper, paper towels, kotex, dish sponges etc) can make things simpler and less cluttered. And as a friend of mine was mentioning in an email recently, there is something very freeing about knowing one doesnt have to run to the store when one runs out of TP and the like. For an introvert, the freedom to not have to go run out into the people filled and the senses bombarding environment of a store so often, well the relief there is huge. And using cloth vs paper helps bring some peace of mind and less brain clutter becuase it is one less thing to have to worry about constantly getting more of. And its less physical clutter too because there is less to store.

8. Thinking "Realness"

When something is more basic and "real", it feels more natural and less like clutter. Using real tangible ingredients vs abstract feeling products helps there (see #10).

But its can also go deeper than this. Take the above paper products vs cloth for instance as an example. Rolls of paper towels and such, thats not "real" solid stuff you will keep using over and over and be able to get familar with and bond with. Rather, its stuff you will quickly throw away and then replace and replace and replace...and that feels cluttery, inside and out. To explain, picture if you will being with someone you know well and are familar with and like. It becomes natural over time to be with that person, so it naturally blends in with your life rather than stressfully clutters it. But that doesnt happen when folks are flying quickly through your life and constantly being "replaced". Well, its the same with our "things" too i feel.

9. Getting Beyond Schedules

A typical daily chore list and schedule, personally i've found just does not work. There is something mechanical and mind cluttering about typical schedules we draw up, unreal feeling too, and so i find i resist them. But having a "palette" approach instead, now that actually seems to work for me. What that means is two things. First, arranging it so the daily things needing doing will just happen more automatically. If your home is small and sparse for example, you will automatically keep it clean simply as you go about your day (see #6 ). In terms of cooking, if your ingredients are simple and few and easily visible (see upcoming post on palette cooking), you will naturally plan your menus and think ahead of steps needed, again simply as you go about your day. And then there are natural rhythms to naturally follow as the day unfolds. They too are simply right there as you are going about your day, you don't need to worry and plan over them, they are just part of your life rather than cluttering it. Way better than any artificial schedule....see here for a great post on this.

Then for less obvious things, there is making a "palette" list....as in a palette ready to choose from. This is a list kept that occasionally (maybe once a week or so for me) can simply be scanned down and see if anything there "stands out" as needing doing now. And when just having a palette list to turn to now and again isnt enough anymore...well then i know my life has gotten too full and has to be pared down!

Something about having a nice orderly list like that to turn to, yet still being able to have a creative daily response to things rather than an artificial schedule... well it makes days more peaceful i feel.

PS, Added later: Came across this on "Intuitive Cleaning"...such good stuff:

"Intuitive Cleaning: There was a great blog post that I read a while back that I have searched for and can't seem to find. A woman was musing at why we obsess with cleaning schedules of what to clean which day of the week. She said that our grandmothers didn't use day timers or elaborate scheduling for their housework. They just cleaned as things got dirty. Why clean the blinds on Tuesday if they aren't dusty? Why mop the floors every Saturday if this week they may need it twice? Her premise was that we should stop complicating our housekeeping and just clean as the need arises. Wake up, see what needs to be done, and do it. Is that simple living or what? I began cleaning intuitively and boy, I began to really enjoy myself. I saw that the master bathroom needing some sprucing, so I did it. I saw that the front of my kitchen cabinets needing wiping, so I did it. I saw that just the little boys' room needed vacuuming, so I did it. I didn't go hunting for jobs, I just saw needs as I went about my day and took a moment to meet them. It has been very freeing and enjoyable. And actually the house seems cleaner than ever! I just am doing "here a little, there a little"...doing the next thing as it shows itself. Even as I sit here I am noticing the computer is dusty, so when I am done here, I will grab a cloth and give it a little care."

10. Ingredients vs Products

This stuff will be detailed in later posts, recipe and how to ideas. But for now just the general idea...

There is something so centering and soothing, and definitey de-cluttering, in more just having ingredients to create from. It makes such a difference from having to gather a bunch of "products" all the time. Food, medicine, cleansers, candles, journals, organizers, paper product replacers can all be homemade. Now i know there are situations where one cannot, but in other situations there are ways awaiting. And i really do understand that there are limits folks have, live with a serious chronic injury myself. Yet seeking out ergonomic tricks in order to do things a bit more direct and hands on like this, truly it has been so rewarding. Not to mention less expensive.

Will go into all this more in a later post, but for now here is a favorite qoute that helps explain why this focus on creativity vs product gathering is just so key to peaceful living. Its from 1955 and it applies tenfold today. From Anne Morrow Lindbergh's Gift from the Sea :

Mechanically we have gained, in the last generation, but spiritually we have, I think, unwittingly lost. In other times, women had in their lives more forces which centered them whether or not they realized it; sources which nourished them whether or not they consciously went to these springs. Their very seclusion in the home gave them time alone. Many of their duties were conducive to a quiet contemplative drawing together of the self. They had more creative tasks to perform. Nothing feeds the center so much as creative work, even humble kinds like cooking and sewing.

Well, more at some point later : )

(First image is by Jesse Wilcox Smith via here, and second image is from Corey Amaro of Tongue in Cheek (from here))

A Healing Table: Baking as Sacrament

Such a nice co-in-see-dance happened today. As was shared in the last post, have been extra excited about baking lately. And then this afternoon i came across this very heartening post from Corey of Tongue in Check. As some of you know, her mother is an amazing baker. But she stopped baking when her husband became very ill, and then he sadly passed away a few months ago. It is only now that she is beginning to bake again, and the resulting blessing is deep.... for the whole family. From here and here:

"My Mother loves to bake, it is one of the things she does best. As far back as I can remember the kitchen counter had a plate or two of cookies on it. When I recall my childhood home a sweet aroma instantly fills the air.

When my Mother bakes cookies she did it without thinking, certainly like prayer, it was her therapy. She would wake up early, and before going to morning Mass she would crack the eggs, cream the butter with the sugar, add the vanilla...with the recipe in her head. My Mother's hands steady and swift made cookies for those she loved, for those who would come to visit, for those who needed cheering up, for those at the rest home, for the neighbors and anyone who asked her for help. Yes making cookies was her way of giving communion to those of us in need....

The art of baking starts with having the right ingredients and follows with a knowledge that what you are doing is feeding the hungry with loving spoonfuls of goodness. My mom is baking again and the sweet aroma allows home to feel like home once more. The art of her baking is deliciously healing.

Everyone needs a helping hand no matter how small... my mother has many helping hands surrounding her (see one set of those precious little hands above, smile). After several months of not baking... my mother picked up her wooden spoon. The atmosphere was softly quiet as if we were baking a souffle. The children knew, as only children do, that this was a first step for their beloved Vavie (Grandmother)....With each turn of the wooden spoon, each lick of the beater, each stolen taste.... healing was being served. "

This reminded me so much of how sacramental baking actually is in its own way. Indeed so much of the seemingly mundane, the quotidian things in life...are sacramental. More and more, i feel that the more mundane and qoutidian/daily/"simply basic" something is, the more likely it is a truly sacred thing really.

Geneveive Kineke beautifully goes into the sacramentalness of a woman's work in particular, in her book The Authentic Catholic Woman. The sacrament of Baptism is mirrored in our everyday acts of cleaning and of hospitality. The sacrament of confirmation is mirrored in the act of counsel and encouraging the best in one another. The sacrament of reconcilation is surely a daily mirrored thing in our lives, that of peacemaking and forgiveness. The anointing of the sick and last rites are mirrored as well, in our healing and caring for one another in all the little ways that that happens. The sacrament of marriage and holy orders are mirrored in a man's daily providence and protection and a woman's daily nurturing (be it physical, emotional, spiritual or mental...even beautifying or ordering is a form of nurturing). And the sacrament of the Eucharist is mirrored in, you guessed it....that wonderful qoutidian mystery of cooking and feeding.

Okay, now i want to go bake something again, lol. Time to mix up some cornbread to go with the lentil soup for dinner. Sacramental living, more and more it just amazes me. What is common, what is daily...is so often what is most sacred....

(Images from Corey Amaro of Tongue in Cheek, from here and here)

A Grateful Table: Heart Prayers in the Kitchen

For those not familiar with rural living, allow me to paint a scene. I live out on what is basically a prarie here in Oregon. It boasts a tiny mom and pop market and cafe....and that's it. But if one saddles up and takes the journey (and it is a journey) into a neighboring town one can find such wonders as an ATM, a gas station, a still small (but bigger than the one in my area) market, and antique stores. So once a month or so i "go into town", and it feels i think like it might have felt to our ancestors...going into town is a real event.

Yesterday was just such an event, and a gift was found in an antique store that has been making me so happy....the perfect mixing bowl : ) I've been waiting for just the right mixing bowl for so long, a really special one...and this was it, the sweetest little Halls bowl, and blessedly affordable. I can't stop looking at it and touching its smooth soft surface. I keep baking whatever i can think of because i love using it so much (luckily the weather has been cooperating, has cooled off this weekend). It's the nicest feeling and have been so grateful for this! And it's reminded me of an old post i've been meaning to bring over, so reprinting it below. It was originally written on 3/25/08....

In his book "Maxims", Brother Lawrence writes, "Men invent means and methods of coming at God's love, they learn rules and set up devices to remind them of that love, and it seems like a world of trouble to bring oneself into the consciousness of God's presence. Yet it might be so simple. Is it not quicker and easier just to do our common business wholly for the love of him?"--from here

"How much better and faster this is than trying to use our own limited intelligence to search for answers and proof. How much more direct and gentle this is than running off on our own path full of detours and obstacles that so often lead nowhere or, even worse, keep us spinning in circles that become deep ruts. How much easier to do it God's way with simple gratitude."--from here

Mentioned awhile back was Brother Lawrence's core and simple "heart prayer" of "Thank you, God (hmmm, mistyped as "Thank of God", like "Think of God). His grateful way of being is just such a relief. The thing is, i think its our first natural reaction really, but we sadly learn to bury it (see here). Truly, "not burying" that thank you finally is such a relief, a re-mem-ber-ing that God is in control and that He is caring for us... the chest sighs, the breath slows. A bit more about this "Thank You, God" prayer, from from here:

"The Silent 'Thank You, Father'

"Please give Him thanks with me for His great goodness which I can never sufficiently express, and for the many favors He has done to so miserable a sinner as I am. May all things praise Him. Amen." ... Brother Lawrence

The most powerful expression of practicing God's presence is The Silent 'Thank You, Father'. These three words are the very essence of the holy habit. This phrase is the secret to living on earth and in heaven in continual conversation with God. It can start us and keep us moving forward on the path of practicing God's presence -no matter what.

The Silent 'Thank You, Father', is voiced from the heart. We repeat it inwardly at all times and in all circumstances -no matter what. In this way, The Silent 'Thank You, Father' brings us into instant awareness and communion with God.

We learn from Brother Lawrence that the things necessary for the practice of the presence of God are love, humility, simplicity, and faith. Contained within the three words, 'Thank You, Father', is a complete expression of love, humility, simplicity, and faith. When silently spoken at all times and in all circumstances -no matter what, 'Thank You, Father' expresses our accord with His good pleasure, His holy will...

The Silent 'Thank You, Father' is a full expression of faith because trust in Our Lord is the very foundation of living in God's presence...

The beginning is not easy. We sometimes feel like a hypocrite....(But He will help us, and in) time, when we diligently apply ourselves, this phrase transforms our entire outlook and assures a dynamic, personal relationship with God. Sometimes, just the thought of silently saying, 'Thank You, Father' (if needed can also add 'Lord, increase my faith' ) will flood our heart with His radiant presence. We may become so aware of this sense of presence that, should we slip out of it, we automatically form the words within.

At the very least, we will recognize when something is not quite right. If we slip into a mood or a troubled frame of mind, a round of 'Thank You, Father', sometimes a vigorous round of many repetitions, will bring us back into His holy presence.

This beautiful phrase is a prayer which acts much like the classic Jesus Prayer: "Lord, Jesus Christ, Have mercy on me, a poor sinner." When we inscribe these short, yet complete, prayers into the very fiber of our being, we form a lasting and holy habit of expressing our love, humility, simplicity, and faith."

That site above is an excellent one for reflections on Brother Lawrence. For his writings themselves though, i find this translation more poetic, from here. There is also a really nice audio version of that translation, from here. And a wonderful sermon on Brother Lawrence from here.

The image above of cakemaking may seem a strange one to post with stuff on Brother Lawrence, but not really...he did after all work in a monastory kitchen. However the real reason i was drawn to this image here is that its been using my mixing bowl in this little "abbey" here that's also making me so thankful lately. For years, becuase of my injury, i have not been able to use a mixing bowl. And there's just something so archetypal about using that mixing bowl, something i deeply miss. Lately though, from a combination of the injury being calmer lately, and also finding some ergonomic tricks to mixing (putting a wet towel under the bowl so it stays in place better, mixing with hands vs a spoon when its too hard to stir, etc), ive been able to use a mixing bowl more lately. And there is just something about that, something that brings such a feeling of ancientness, and of joy.

It reminds me of my very favorite post from Home Living, one of the earliest ones there called The Mixing Bowl:

"I don't know about you, but I never just mechanically mix up something just because it must be done. There are a lot of things packed into this activity that you may not know. For one thing, I think of the women before me who may have stood at that counter and mixed up a batch of scones or pancakes. I remember the Pioneer women in the log homes or sod homes their husbands built for them. I'm stirring away, and thinking how valuable that mixing bowl must have been to the next generations. Grown children must have wanted their grandmother's mixing bowl, not just for something to use, but for the sentimental value. In using that bowl, the homemaker must have thought of the times of the life of her grandmother, and remembered some of the special occasions when she mixed up a batch of something. Pictures form in her mind of grandmother in her apron, with a contented smile, mixing up something special for her family. I think across the ages to the earliest people in history--even as far back as the women of the Bible making cakes, such as the woman of Zarepath, who made a little cake for Elijah in I Kings 17. So, it is more than just doing a job. It is a repetition of a custom from long ago. We are creating memories for our family when we use the mixing bowl, and one day someone will ask if they can have your mixing bowl...

In all the things we perceive as greatness in the world, this is one of the most cherished experiences for people of all ages. In doing this, the woman with the mixing bowl makes a statement about her life. This is her world, her time, and her freedom. She doesn't have to worry about time sheets and schedules and bosses, keeping her job, competing with someone else for better batter, or anything that takes place on "the outside" as I call it. She's not worried about losing her position if it doesn't turn out well. It is the doing of it that counts. She can think about that bowl, and if she got it at her wedding, the person that gave it to her. She can spend a few minutes quietly stirring and thinking about the people that made it possible for her to be as she is today, contentedly stirring something in the mixing bowl.

A woman who has claimed the freedom to create a cake or pudding from her own special mixing bowl, whether it is her own new one she got for her wedding, or the one passed down from her grandmother, has truly made it to the top, in life... It isn't just the act itself that is so comforting and reassurring to a home, but the end results. The enticing aroma and the final partaking of such a treat, holds a special feeling of anticipation for all members of a family, and their visitors, no matter what age. The mixing bowl transcends the so-called "generation gap" and even moreso the gap we often feel in time. In doing something that the Pilgrims, Pioneers, and Victorians did, these people that once walked the earth and have now "gone home" do not seem so foreign or so strange to us. Like you, there was once a woman in 1890 standing at her sink, glancing up at her family, with the mixing bowl in her arm. Somehow, their lives don't seem so distant from our own, when we are doing something so similar to something they did in their own generation."

I just love this!

(Image adpated from here)

A Shabbas Table: Baby Steps to Simplicity

"Feeling totally overwhelmed and incapable of reaching the goals (of becoming a good homemaker)? Take heart! You might think, 'There is no way I can manage home-cooked meals daily, let alone the inspiring discussions around the dinner table. Who are you kidding?' Here's the hope: One step at a time. One baby step at a time. Set small goals and work toward those, not despairing when you feel the high goals are completely out of reach. Once you meet the small goal, move on to the next one. Step, step, step. Slow and steady. Maybe this week it's just getting up on time. Maybe next week it will be working out a day's menu plan. No one is holding out a timer on your progress, and every tiny step is a victory... Feel like all of this is a fairy tale that can't possibly come true? It's not..."--From the postscript to The New Women’s Movement: We’re Coming Home

I get so awed by some of the writings on simple living out there. Sadly i'm more a beginner. My parents encouraged me to be very academic rather than domestic as well (not too hard since i was/am a real bookworm anyway). In fact, sad but true it wasnt until i was out of school in my twenties that i learned how to even remotely clean a house or cook a pot of soup (and wow how satisfying it was finally!). And then, about ten years ago at age thirty, a rather serious chronic spinal injury was obtained and made me step back from many domestic things once again. It's only been the last couple years honestly that things are finally, slowly, coming together bit by bit, slowly learning skills and finding ergonomic tricks to be able to do more with the physical limits. So i've been slow to share simplicity type stuff since there is so little to offer there. But today, i thought i'd try anyway, some thoughts anyway...becuase i was so inspired by the cool simplicity series happening at High Desert Home. So going to try a little list here, using her "list of ten" idea. This stuff is pathetically basic i'm sure, but who knows, maybe some will be of use to someone : )

1. Making Letting Go Count

The letting go part of simplicity is central it seems, no way around it. But its where to let go that's the thing to discern. We should do our letting go i feel, and our spending less, in the areas where that letting go will actually simplify our lives. Sounds like a no brainer, but its surprising how often this can be overlooked. It just doesnt make sense to me to do something to save money that will complicate my life. What will complicate will vary for each of us. For me, that complication comes from stuff like weekly bargain hunting (leading to mind clutter and less peace), or using artificial food ingredients or chemical cleansers and the like (leading to ill health), or getting a bunch of inexpensive knick knacks rather than a few simple "real" and quality things (knick knacks lead to clutter , which tends to make clutter on the inside too in my experience) . The thing is, i think we are all given an opening somehow, areas in our life where we truly can save but where that letting go there will actually help us live a simpler life, rather than complicating it. The thing is simply to find it.

2. Keeping an Angel in Your Pocket

One of the keys to simple and more sane living i've found is to open to little "touchstones". For example, some time back my Mother gave me this little stone with an angel on it, and it reminds me when i look at it of the goal of becoming more of an "angel in the home". So it resides on my apron pocket. And many times when i get irritable, feel off base, say things i regret, i find my hand reaching for that stone and it kind of reminds me of the deeper goal, the kind of person i truly want to be. These little re-mind-er touchstones can act like a little compass, re-orienting you back in the right direction.

There are lots of touchstones, gifts we are given...words and stories that strike us, things we see, feathers found on a walk, and the like. I think these are important, that we find them for a reason--a co-in-see-dance, God dancing with us-- and that they help us kind of re-center and focus. Now this all may seem an odd thing to talk about in appraoching simplicity, but i have found it central. I truly need these little focuses, these little gifts. It is richness like this that allows me to let go of other things and open to a deeper simplicity.

3. The Motivation of Luxury

Again, i know this one too may sound like an ironic thing here, but here goes. Back in a favorite post by AnnV, it was shared how luxury means "to loosen"... our inner relaxing and loosening, our openness, our joy. I strongly believe that simplicity must be motivated by what heartens and comforts us deep down or it just won't work in the end... and we each have to uncover that that motivation, that "luxury", is.

Personally, saving money in itself just doesnt motivate me enough. Terribly ironic really, since i have very little of it....but there it is. Even buying more for less and the whole weekly bargain shopping appraoch doesnt motivate me enough, it leads to too much brain clutter when what i long for deep down is peace. Thinking of filling up my home with things sure doesnt motivate me. Thinking of getting a bigger home or cutesy decorating doesnt motivate me either. Thinking of having a high social standing doesnt motivate. Even thinking of acquiring wealth for missionary purposes doesnt motivate enough either, that just doesnt seem to be my calling. And the popular simplifying-as-part-of-being-politically-correct doesnt work for me either really (a focus on ecology sure does, but not the politically correct package there). It just seems most of the common motivators don't seem to work in my case.

What does motivate me though is the area of holy poverty, or biblical simplicity. Been kind of praying on this awhile, and letting more be uncovered there. Since that area is a big one, will be posting seperately on that when the time is right. But the point is, i think we all need to uncover what it is that motivates us, what "loosens" and opens our spirit.

4. Finding Some Building Blocks

Simplicity needs motivation, but it also needs concrete and simple building blocks too. And those blocks may be different for everyone. For me part of this is an image of having a "pallete". With food for example, i find it helps so much to get rid of labels and such and transfer things into to clear bags or jars insead, i just really like the feeling of things feeling direct and basic and "real", and not cluttered with lots of labels and colors and words. And to have very few things and ingredients to begin with...just some simple, basic wholesome "real" stuff (milk, eggs, flour, spices, and the like). Its part of having an highly sensitive nervous system maybe (some folks just do, get very easily overloaded with stimuli, even too many colors or ingredients).

So i'm not into brands or special products really, much less the desire to spend time hunting them down in bargains. What makes me happy is to (aspiring anyway!) keep ingredients and meals so simple that you don't need to shop at certain stores for the most part, and don't need to shop for sales all the time either, that the things you buy are things that are typically inexpensive and found anywhere.... and most of all, are simple and "real". This is the sort of appraoch that makes me feel not only nourished but free... not tied to a particular store or even a particular part of the country, and not dependent upon sales either. I just really need that for some reason. And these basic simple things then become building blocks....in this case, a "palette". And this building block or palette approach, i have found it helps a great deal with simple living.

Kind of hard to explain. Hunkering down to make a bunch of different distinct recipes for example, something feels off there for me....i just need more of a simple "palette" to create from instead. It's back to the brain clutter thing...if i'm thinking in terms of what i'll need on hand for a bunch of different recipes then i get all cluttery inside. But if im thinking of having a basic palatte handy instead to work with, something relaxes and opens up (back to the "to loosen" again), and it makes me really feel like creating then. This will be expanded on more in a future post on "palette cooking". For now, the point is just how finding one's own simple building blocks somehow is so vital to simplicity.

5. Embracing "Sacred Need"

This is something explored in an old post, so won't go into it too much here. But the gist is this: I truly believe our needs are an incredible gift, a guide to the lives we are meant to lead. And that definitely makes them openings to living a simple life. The trick is this: seperating our wants from our needs. Our wants, they can be influenced by commercials, by envy, by greed, by so many things, and so they can bounce all over the place. Ah but our actual needs, these are sacred. Because our needs, these are a true part of us, given to us by our Creator. Just imagine some things here if you might. The most basic, archetypal things in the world are the things we actually need....the air we breath to be clean, the water pure, nourishing food, a loving home, kindness, etc. And these things have a depth to them, a certain feeling...one can feel deep down that these are sacred and precious things. A want may be for something quite nice, but it doesnt have that same "feeling" as the things we need. And our needs do vary of course. There are needs common to all, such as the more basic ones listed, but there are also needs that God gives to a particular person. Someone may have a true need, a true drive, for example, to create a certain thing or to lead a nation, or fill in the blank. For that person, this is sacred, an actual need. For another, it would be merely a want. And we do our best i feel, when following our needs rather than focusing on our wants...for our needs are given to us by God, so we can trust them.

What's more, there is something just so freeing about realizing something is a mere want, admitting its not a need. I dont have the post link at the moment, but what showed this so well was an experience of Maggie's (her blog is Frugal Abundance she's a real queen of simplicity, smile). In this post she was sharing what had happened to her one day in a dollar store looking at some pretty little notebooks. She was sitting there drooling over them when it dawned on her that she didnt actually need them, she only wanted them. She had been fantasizing there in that aisle about how buying one would change things for her, make her more organized....when she suddenly realized she was not dependent on buying some new thing to make that happen. It was like a weight fell off my own shoulders just reading that, becuase i know just what that feels like when it happens, and long for it. There is something just so incredibly freeing when a want loses its hold over you becuase you realize it is simply that... rather than a need.

One thing to mention though (and it is gone into more in the previous post mentioned) is that needs are not just about what is "practical" only. I think things like beauty, and calm, and the like can be true needs. Sacred needs. And it is in uncovering our needs, and letting go of mere wants, that we can embrace simple living i feel. Our needs are intertwined too with our motivation, its all part of the same thing really....the motivations and needs given to each person by Our Creator.

6. Accepting Limits

Just like our needs are given to us for a reason, i feel our true limits are as well. It would be insane for example for me to pretend i wasnt physically limited in what i can do since i aquired this chronic spinal injury. Its a true limit. And just as i feel we can trust our needs, so too we can trust our true limits. Our limits are not some kind of sin to judge, but rather they were given to us by Our Lord i feel, for whatever good reason. Finding out what we really can do with those limits is important (in my case i had to learn some real ergonomic tricks in the kitchen and the like but that will be another post). But what we can't do, we need to accept. And help that is needed, we need to accept that too. Simplicity to me is not about being tough and stand alone, but about being realistic about both what you need and what you can on the other hand share with others. Limits, like needs, are sacred things really.

And its not just obvious physical limits but more subtle inner ones too. In my life some of those inner limits are time and stimulus for example. A busy schedule or chaotic envoronment is truly not something i can live with, and so it definitely means saying no to a great many things. And it is a true limit... ive tried both busyness and living with noise and clutter etc and my health and peace of mind just plummet at the speed of light when i do, its a very strong thing. So i trust that i was given those limits for whatever good reason by Him. And we all it seems have limits like this whatever they may be. Limits that are gifts He gives i feel, to lead us on the path He wants us on.

7. Living Brother Lawrence's "Thank You" Prayer

Then there are "life limits"...realizing that even these too can be a gift, part of our doors to simple living if we'll let them be. Brother Lawrence lived this. The crux of his spritual life was a simple and profound prayer..."thank you, Father". He prayed this not only for the pleasing things of life but for whatever happened, no matter how limiting or painful. As he prayed this it affirmed to His heart that God truly does love us and gives us what He does for a healing reason....even when we can't yet see it. Sure seems best to have faith in that and say "Thank You, Father" for even what we don't understand yet.

It's not that what happens to us exists in some sort of vacuum i don't think. Sometimes a trying time comes exactly becuase we are supposed to be helped through it perhaps, giving someone a needed opportunity to be "God's hands" there. And its not, i don't , think, that we shouldn't try to improve things or help one another improve (and forgive when we fall...see Jeanne's wonderful series on the healing balance between striving for perfection and forgiving). Its just that all the steps, all the everything, are given for a reason somehow. A reason to say "thank you, Father". How much simpler, to say the least, is life when we realize this!

8. Following Natural Rhythms

There is such great comfort, and true simplicity, in knowing we are not here to reinvent the wheel. We are meant to praise, to love, to beautify and embellish it seems...but i doubt very much that we are here to reinvent. Instead, we are gifted with nature to follow. Day and night, seasons, Sabbaths, feastdays, and the like....all here for us for a reason. In fighting that we complicate our lives i think, but in embracing that we....simplify. Naturally. And big time.

9. Going Beyond Green

This may sound ironic, but going green, at least the way its popularized, doesnt really seem to make life any simpler really. More the opposite. To explain....

I'm strongly for ecology, but the label of "green" can be very decieving. It was hitting me when i was touring various popular green homes one summer, something just felt so "off" there. Things tended to be very angular, techno designed looking, unreal feeling...despite being called green. To me there is nothing natural about that. Then i found out part of why this is....in green building, special products are often artificially (even if nontoxically) created to build with rather than using things from nature. This is for the sake of sparing natural resources, but the result is still not a good feeling one.

Now i'm all for nontoxicness. Even if i put the good stewardship/ecology ethics part (which i strongly believe in) aside, it still happens i have a condition called environmental illness/chemical sensitivity where one gets pretty serious physical reactions to all the "normal" (ha!) toxic products lining our store aisles. But the answer there i feel is to use natural ingredients instead...not to invent fake stuff to use, even if that fake stuff is nontoxic.

And its more than this too. I surely long to be as natural as possible. But "being green" as the approach there has sadly become more and more about politics, pride and pocketbooks... rather than truly about healing and ethics. I'd say more here, but there are folks who say it far better. See for example Maggie's wonderful article (here) from Frugal Abundance, and Chris' well thought out article (here) from 9G Health Foods.

10. Redefining Neccesities and Extras

Funny how the most important things are the most basic ones. And funny how those things are exactly what are so challenged today. Natural rhythms, peace and quiet, enough time, clean air water and food, women able to be home based, men providing and protecting, integrity, devotion, faith, hope, trust (and pixie dust, smile) ....exactly the sorts of things that are the most basic and sacred and "simple" things we need the most. These are the true necessities i think, not just optional extras as we are told. Likewise, what we are told are necessities (big house, cars, convenience food, two partner incomes, chemical cleansers, hairsprays etc, fashion etc) arent really necessities at all.

Nuts and Bolts Type Stuff

To be explored in upcoming posts sometime...one on shopping simply, one on making things (cleansers, journals etc) from scratch, one on "palette cooking" recipes, one on ergonomic tricks in cooking and cleaning, maybe a few others.

But for now....

Good Shabbas Everyone,
And a Very Blessed Sabbath : )

(Image is by Selena Fenech, from here)